Once Upon a Dream - Comments

@ Madame Stark;
and I apologized for the way it's written, and as I said I have problems with those things, the thing about helping someone is that unless that person asks for your help chances are they don't want it, I'm not trying to be mean or anything I'm just Apologizing yet again for the way I write, no it isn't perfect, but I do the best I can, and I brought up the layout because of the summery the format of that, if it's confusing again I apologize whole heatedly but if it's that bad then don't read it, that fact that people even read these things means the world to both of us, but in the end, we are just writing to have fun, if people enjoy reading it enough to comment on how they like what we're doing that means even more, but when people just complain about things that can't be helped for some people, it comes off as rude that's why I responded the way I did, So I apologize again for My bad grammar , and for any hurt feelings that came from me commenting back the way I did.

@ Imaginary_Dreamer
I never said anything about the layout? But your using incorrect grammar/grammar that doesn't exist. I'm only stating that its hard to read because its a constant flow with no true period to state the end of a thought. So sorry for making a suggestion that could possibly help.

@ Madame Stark;
Thanks for commenting, Again we've explained this that the layout or how things show up is up to us, I personally have difficulty with those things, So I do the best I can, if it's a problem for you I apologize, But I'm positive No one is going to Die if the grammar in the story isn't 100% perfect

I read the prologue -- the summary is the prologue right? Anyway, seems really interesting but you have a lot of grammar eras. I definitely suggest going back and rereading or getting a beta to look over it because it reads as one long sentence. Hope the story works out for you guys! The OUAT fandom needs more love!

@ Ashes to Graphite
It's quite fine dear, We understand you were just trying to help us with our story, but the format and how we are going to write it will be decided between us, We will keep an eye out for the things you pointed out and try to make our story better from what you pointed out , The fact that you are reading and commenting means the world to us and in the end that's all that really matters is that people enjoy the story, We hope you'll stay reading and enjoy our story as we of course enjoy knowing that there is someone else out there who loves this series as much as we do and is enjoying our story, Thanks again! ^_^ Much Love hun ^^

@ Imaginary_Dreamer
I apologize if I sounded like I was expecting perfection from you, that's not what I was going for at all. I was merely giving my opinion on a creative story in a fandom I like, I wasn't trying to bash the writing of you or your co-writer. Again, I'm sorry if my comment was not welcome, because, reading it back, I realize that I sort of did focus on the things I thought could be improved. That was definitely an error on my part, I really do like your story, I was just trying to offer suggestions. As I said, I am just trying to help, and I see now that I didn't really go about it in the best way possible.

Also, I'm not really sure why it posted twice... hm. Sorry about that, I'll see if I can delete one of those now. :/

Anywho, I am definitely not trying to say that you need to be super professional, because I certainly am not a pro, and most of the people on her aren't. I like the concept of the story, I was only trying to help you grow as writers, just like I am trying to grow.

Sorry, again, and I do hope you don't take offense to anything I am trying to say. Happy writing!

@ Ashes to Graphite
Thanks for your comment, We apologize if the story doesn't meet your standers of perfection, We are NOT professional writers we are just two fan girls writing a story we thought would be fun to write, Your comment means a lot just the same, and we hope you will keep reading and let the story develop before you make an actually judgment on it.. Thanks again ^^

Hey! So, I just stumbled upon this story, and got super excited. I am a HUGE Once Upon a Time fan, and when I saw hook in the cover photo...I sort of freaked out. :P I hope you don't mind this obnoxiously long comment, I just have some feedback.

1) So, your "summary" thing on the front page is SUPER long. I mean, it was more of a prologue, which is fine and great and everything, but that bit on the very first page of the story is generally an overview...sort of like the back of a novel. I would suggest putting your prologue in its own chapter, but hey, that might be just me.

2) Little thing, but in your chapters list, having the chapter titles oriented hard right is a bit confusing. I don't know if I'm just particularily slow, but it took me a good 30 seconds to find the links to the chapters, which sort of puts readers from reading, if you catch my drift.

3) CHAPTER 1

Little thing, "A Walk to Remember" should be capitalized.

I personally am not loving the centered text. It is not as easy to read, considering it makes it a wee bit more difficult to find the beginning of the next line, especially if, like in the very first paragraph, the last line in the paragraph is small. I actually missed it the first time I read through, and I go super lost.

Okay, this may sound a little rude, but I think you should probably go through and proof read a little. For example, in "Henry.., you scared me", there should be a period after me, and "...," is not a thing. It's either "," or "..." Also, "So!," only works in Spanish. :/

2) CHAPTER 2

This is interesting. I am a wee bit confused, so aren't Krissi and Bella the two sisters? Like...I guess maybe I'm just confused on how they don't realize it. Unless maybe they do....well, I guess I"ll just have to keep reading, huh?

The other thing is...I think Bella seems a little...como se dice, bipolar for me. She seems happy, then passionate, then intensely sad...I dunno, I suppose her developement will improve as the story goes on!

Um, yah, I am really excited with how the story is going, I'm sorry if I sounded mean, I just want to help. I will definately be keeping up on this lovely story! :) Keep up the great work.

--Ash

Hey! So, I just stumbled upon this story, and got super excited. I am a HUGE Once Upon a Time fan, and when I saw hook in the cover photo...I sort of freaked out. :P I hope you don't mind this obnoxiously long comment, I just have some feedback.

1) So, your "summary" thing on the front page is SUPER long. I mean, it was more of a prologue, which is fine and great and everything, but that bit on the very first page of the story is generally an overview...sort of like the back of a novel. I would suggest putting your prologue in its own chapter, but hey, that might be just me.

2) Little thing, but in your chapters list, having the chapter titles oriented hard right is a bit confusing. I don't know if I'm just particularily slow, but it took me a good 30 seconds to find the links to the chapters, which sort of puts readers from reading, if you catch my drift.

3) CHAPTER 1

Little thing, "A Walk to Remember" should be capitalized.

I personally am not loving the centered text. It is not as easy to read, considering it makes it a wee bit more difficult to find the beginning of the next line, especially if, like in the very first paragraph, the last line in the paragraph is small. I actually missed it the first time I read through, and I go super lost.

Okay, this may sound a little rude, but I think you should probably go through and proof read a little. For example, in "Henry.., you scared me", there should be a period after me, and "...," is not a thing. It's either "," or "..." Also, "So!," only works in Spanish. :/

2) CHAPTER 2

This is interesting. I am a wee bit confused, so aren't Krissi and Bella the two sisters? Like...I guess maybe I'm just confused on how they don't realize it. Unless maybe they do....well, I guess I"ll just have to keep reading, huh?

The other thing is...I think Bella seems a little...como se dice, bipolar for me. She seems happy, then passionate, then intensely sad...I dunno, I suppose her developement will improve as the story goes on!

Um, yah, I am really excited with how the story is going, I'm sorry if I sounded mean, I just want to help. I will definately be keeping up on this lovely story! :) Keep up the great work.

--Ash