August 12th, 2013 at 06:12pm
Periphery - A Collection of Free Verse - Comments
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Uhm, not a story. Obviously. BUT this is good! The layout can be changed easily to make it look better. And revise it to correct the errors and this will be a good.."Collection of Free Verse" lol, It is a great start of art with words good job <3 Oh and the background is just lovely. I like how it all is going.March 9th, 2013 at 08:15am
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Uhm, not a story. Obviously. BUT this is good! The layout can be changed easily to make it look better. And revise it to correct the errors and this will be a good.."Collection of Free Verse" lol, It is a great start of art with words good job <3 Oh and the background is just lovely. I like how it all is going.March 9th, 2013 at 08:15am
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Comment Swap
As the other commenters below, I was expecting a story, but this is very...interesting. I don't really know how to comment on it for I am not certain if it should be placed in the poems section or not, but in any case, it's very nice to read and I do get a certain feel for it. So good jobMarch 9th, 2013 at 07:56am -
brought here by comment swap: like other readers I was expecting a story when I first clicked on the link but I must say I was not disappointed with what I found. I loved it actually and think you have a way with words. I'm glad I stumbled across this and would definitely be interested in seeing more :)March 9th, 2013 at 07:33am
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I was brought here by comment swap. I was expecting a story of some sort, but this is just as good. I think your writing is wonderful and the way you paint a picture with your words is flawless. Thank you for sharing this work with us! Keep up the wonderful writing. (:March 9th, 2013 at 01:40am
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*and, not ad. Sorry!March 9th, 2013 at 01:29am
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*and, not ad. Sorry!March 9th, 2013 at 01:29am
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The lovely *Comment Swap* brought me here and I have to say you are quite the wordsmith. I love some of the pictures you portrayed, the little snippets of life in fragments of sentences. Speaking from a person who loves language ad word pictures, you have some really lovely things here. Not everything was flawless but that's not really the point of free verse is it? I think you have quite the talent in development here! Keep it up!March 9th, 2013 at 01:29am
You have a lovely way with images, weaving a soft, gauzy vignette of effortless love, and the juxtapositioning that against an attention-grabbing phrase like "we are sutured together." I really love that. It provides a little punch to the reader that gives a wonderful sense of contrast while still expressing the same sentiment. Wonderful work!