July 9th, 2013 at 01:31am
To start, I really liked the layout. It was simple and clean, and I think it's good that you made the title the color of the background. Some of these little things I think just make layouts more appealing to the eye.
I liked this story a lot. It was nice and short, but it was also powerful. I didn't feel a lot of emotion from it but I knew it was there and I felt that your description was good. I could visualize about the whole thing. It would be interesting I think, to turn this into a chaptered story.
This was a lot more sad than I expected. Just the simple "he is in love with a different girl" made it really emotional and really sad, for me at least. Their relationship just seems so broken and she doesn't notice.
I liked that you kept it so simple, it really added to the whole feeling of the drabble. Your descriptions were still really well done and there was subtle emotions in it, so it wasn't overwhemling or anything which I really liked.
The layout was quite lovely, as well. It was simple, just like the story, and I really liked that.
Well done!