Welcome To The New Age - Comments

@ Monsunxx
Hey! I know you commented four months ago, but I just now checked my account when I haven't been on this website just because I've been really busy and kind of forgot about it. I really appreciate your comment and just wanted to respond by saying I am considering writing again. If I do, it'll be sparingly just because I'm in college now and don't have as much time as I used to (it's hard to believe I wrote this when I was 14 ). But again, your comment meant a lot and I love that you loved the story :)

Comment swap.
I know that this hasn't been updated in 4 years and I commented like 3 years ago so I doubt you'll see this comment anyways.
But I really like this story. It's truly an original and interesting idea and story. I love how you can sorta feel how sarcastic Maybelle is in her thoughts and how she is trying to keep true to herself even though she's in this situation.
If you do ever read this comment and decide to pick up where you left off with this story I would definitely read it.
Also there are a few grammatical errors in it that I would just go through and fix. You can also swear so you don't need "sh!t" you can type it out.
But overall it's a great story and I would love to read more of it because where it's cut off right now is a bit of a cliff hanger. Like what's going to happen next with Rikuto? And what happened to Janie? Where is she? Will she come back?
And I know it's a long shot that you'll come back and update this story. But if you do I know it would be a hit.

I really hope you can get to updating this soon

Here from comment swap.

The summary is very intriguing, it definitely doesn't give too much away. I'm excited to get going, so, yeah, here we go. Can I just say, the text is a little bit too big for my taste. Just my personal little thing.

Just a note, you can actually use swear words in your story content, so "sh!t" isn't necessary. I also noticed some grammatical errors in the thoughts of the character. For example "somethings wrong" needs an apostrope between the 'g' and 's' and the 'your' in "your a dumb ass today" should be "you're".

After reading the rest, I'd definitely say you have an original and interesting idea here, but that you should check over your work for any mistakes like the ones I noted above, also there was a case, that I can't find now, where you put an ellipsis (...) but wrote it like "wordswords...words" when there should actually be a space between the ellipsis and the following word like "wordswords.. words". Overall, it's a lovely story, and I love the Imagine Dragons song it came from too.

Comment swap :) Buy wow. I'm really, really glad I got to read this for the swap. The idea in itself is awesome, original and I really just enjoyed reading it. The way you hear how she's thinking and the voice in the story is great. I can't wait to read more!

I really enjoyed reading the first few chapters of this story!! I'm not the type of person to read this type of story, but I liked it! It reminds me of the movie, Red Dawn. My advice is to try not to have so many sentences start with I, which is definitely hard when it's a first person story. But it would flow better! Just a tip! But other than that, I think it's a good start to a story!

i love the title did you get it from the song radioactive? i love that song :) the story is great and i actually love the layout the eyes are so cool and the colours are nice. good job! please update soon im addicted to this story :) i didnt see any grammor errors which i loved and the story just drew me in

i love the title did you get it from the song radioactive? i love that song :) the story is great and i actually love the layout the eyes are so cool and the colours are nice. good job!

Reeally well written! I love the title first of all, I'm assuming your inspiration was the song "Radioactive" by Imagine Dragons (best song ever) and the concept of this story is super cool. It's a cool take on the typical dystopian society and I can't wait for more!

@twejacobbr

It doesn't , just finished the chapter tis all.

Realllyy hope that the word, finnished at the end of chapter five doesnt mean your doneeee!! More pleasaseeee!!!! =)

***Comment Swap***

I haven't read a good story in a long time. Update! That was amazing! Also, I did notice a typo on chapter 3 where you were describing the girl dying, it was closer to the end of the paragraph. I don't remember what the word was right now, but anywho, this was very good, hardly any bad grammar. I want you to update now :) Happy writing :)

--Comment Swap!
I really liked the idea of the character talking to himself, and the story is good, and your writing style is really descriptive.
It's quite intriguing, I'm waiting for the next chapter.

An American slave camp huh? I like it. I can't help but think of the beginning of the Hunger Games with this and it's odd to find the Americans being the ones held captive. Normally it's the other way around, but the spin is great. The fact that you're writing this in a way that allows us to see what she is thinking is also really good because you've got a lot of description and it really gives us an insight into the character. I really hope she can get away soon or a hot boy toy can rescue her. ;) Intrigued! Update soon!

Pleasseeeeeeeee updateee!!! Im realllllly intrigued!!!! =)

Comment Swap-again
The second chapter was shorter and kind of felt like a filler chapter.
But it was written very well.

Comment swap
This is fantastic so far. I love how you've set up this story and I can't wait to read more. Please update soon.

This is fantastic. I am so intrigued!!! I really really really enjoyed it! I hope you can update soon. I want to find out why she is ther and how she can get out. I love stories like this. It reminded me of The Hunger Games and Matched. Keep writing!!!!!! Update soon please.