July 10th, 2013 at 09:17pm
She seems really mature for her age, but at the same time she still is a kid. Mr. Kite is on the edge of being a creeper. Over all though, it's nice. It has an easy flow to it, and the descriptions aren't over the top.
Keep writing it!
I also am a huge fan or original fiction! I think you've got a great writing style and I like this!! Easy to read with a good flow! Good job!