The City Lights - Comments

Comment Swap~

Wow. This is really good so far. I really hope you get the chance to update this soon because it's really good. I didn't spot any mistakes in here but I would pick a different font color. The color Is really hard too read but other than that it's great so far. Buuut aneays update soon please:)

Comment swap~

Wow. I'm surprised you only have two comments on this. I've only read the first two chapters, but just..wow. I'm impressed. My only thing was the layout, the green font made it a bit hard to read. Otherwise, this is just perfect. Great job my dear.

Dear Marilyn Manson,

Extremely depressing, aggressively dark, and meticulous, I find are the best words to describe your story. In truth it touches that darker part of me, the one I like to keep hidden, the one that I ignore.
Your meticulous attention to every hour every minute, of you characters last day is quite fascinating. Even more so, because he does nothing out of the ordinary, you could even call his tasks mundane. Yet, in that there is a sad beauty, a sad truth, that on our last day we would simply be ourselves, live our lives like we had the time.
Over all your writing is good, except for the occasional spelling mistake here and there. I would advise you to set the work aside and then go back to it, or have an editor go back over it. You can pick up the mistakes easily.
Thank you for the sublime walk through this man's last day. I can't wait for you to finnish.

Please keep writing. :)
-Rosi

This story was impressive, I'm surprised no one has talked to you about it before. Given, the layout is a little too much for me, but the custom layout is what I put on in times like these. The story made me hope for angst and that was what I got. I was very pleased that I would actually read someone's suicide note, even if it was pure fiction.