Chocolate - Comments

  • butterfly lovers.

    butterfly lovers. (205)

    :
    Mibba Master
    Gender:
    Age:
    90
    Location:
    United States
    I agree with silk tea that it's a bit hard to read, concerning the layout, but it's not an overall deal breaker (plus anyone can just turn off the custom layout lol). Anyway, this was such a good read!! I think I've read this story like five times or one hundred times idk, but I just never get tired of reading it. There's something about the style of this that is very intriguing and you pull it off so well. It's so cool that we don't need narration/description to know how the characters feel, you can just feel it through the dialogue.

    For some reason, this kind of reminds of The Color Purple, the way the story transitions. Because although we don't really know how old Millie is (except in one of the chapters), we as readers know that this is her experiences growing up if that makes sense. We just read her struggles and watch how that follows her as she gets older, so it never really goes away.

    This is just something I really appreciate in the story is that it focuses on a character of color. I find mostly through stories on here that there is a lot of white characters, which isn't bad, but it gets a bit boring at times; which I agree with Alsoldey that there needs to be more "spice and variety" on Mibba. Plus, I think it lets readers understand these types of struggles, such as how she needs to "change" how her hair looks (which is perfectly fine on Millie <3), or those rude ass comments she got from Samuel, etc. It's a bit sad to think about that this is a real struggle, but it lets people know what's up.

    I hope this continues if not, it will continue to be a great piece!
    April 12th, 2019 at 01:15am
  • Alsoldey

    Alsoldey (230)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    24
    Location:
    United States
    Okay, first off the layout is completely fine where it is. It adds to the story. I had absolutely no problem with reading this lovely and amazing story. And second, oh my God. I've never read something so beautiful before. Not like this, girl this needs more recognition! This is what I meant when I said that there needs to be more spice and variety on mibba. Kudos, kudos, and even more kudos.
    August 30th, 2013 at 07:57pm
  • silk tea.

    silk tea. (400)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    27
    Location:
    United States
    The layout makes this story incredibly hard to read without highlighting everything and even then it's kind of hard. I like the image but I think you should make it like in place of the title so we can see who you're talking about but be able to read the story easily. The concept of this kind of reminds me of 'ttyl' where it's all kind of text chat and no actual narrative. I like it a lot and I think it's definitely a good idea. I personally would like to see a bit more to it though. A bit more description even through dialogue can work really well.
    June 6th, 2013 at 07:19pm
  • a mimosa pudica

    a mimosa pudica (2200)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    20
    Location:
    Philippines
    Millie is absolutely beautiful in my eyes.
    April 6th, 2013 at 05:15pm
  • Loudness War

    Loudness War (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    23
    Location:
    United States
    I really love this and the fact that it's all dialogue which gives it such a different spin.
    April 5th, 2013 at 03:22am
  • a mimosa pudica

    a mimosa pudica (2200)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    20
    Location:
    Philippines
    I'm glad to have read your story: Chocolate. It's different and raw; without any description but still you've given a lot through the dialogues.

    I'll recommend and subscribe this story. I was captured and hooked from the summary up to the third chapter. I absolutely feel the same way sometimes. :(
    April 1st, 2013 at 06:09am