Heavenly - Comments

I came back to reread this and it still remains one of my favorite stories on this site.

I love it!!!!!!!

Okay, so when I scrolled down your list of stories I got super excited when I saw that you wrote Sailor Moon fanfiction. I was just like, "YES! THIS!" I haven't read a Sailor Moon fic in quite a while, and I'm glad I chose to read yours, as this is possibly the best I've ever read. It was just so cute and well written.

Dear Grump Bunny, once again you did an excellent job. Your summaries are always so interesting and they pull me in right away, and that's a skill not all writers have. I liked the imagery and enjoyed your detailed descriptions. The ending was absolutely amazing. I think you should edit the part she talks about her mother and this part, Her gaze brings warriors to their knees. But it sends electricity through my veins, I almost crave it.. I think you should connect the two sentences and make the I almost crave it part another sentence. Plus what Hina said. ~Marian.

Dear Grump Bunny, once again you did an excellent job. Your summaries are always so interesting and they pull me in right away, and that's a skill not all writers have. I liked the imagery and enjoyed your detailed descriptions. The ending was absolutely amazing. I think you should edit the part she talks about her mother and this part, Her gaze brings warriors to their knees. But it sends electricity through my veins, I almost crave it.. I think you should connect the two sentences and make the I almost crave it part another sentence. Plus what Hina said. ~Marian.

Her gaze softens, and she looks like the child I grew up with who would pout when she got vanilla ice cream instead of strawberry.
^There should be a comma in between with and who. :)

My tongue slips between my parted lips, she moves her finger before I can tickle it with my tongue.
^try separating this to into two separate sentences or change the comma into a semicolon.

Other than what I pointed out, I don't see anything else wrong. :)

Awwww! So cute and adorable! <3 Chibiusa sounds a bit like a brat, but that's how she's always been and she's not much different then her mama. You did a wonderful job on this, Brittany. <3 I enjoyed it lots. <3