The Twins - Comments

I love it. Please keep writing!

this is great! :) creepy and suspenseful.

No problem. It's really good story, and off to a great start. I hope more people see how great this is.

@ Psychotic Secrets
Thank you for reading and giving me suggestions! I really appreciate it.
I'm actually going to follow your advice on changing how long they've been active, because you're totally right about that.
And the fire scene, I'll admit, was sort of rushed. I think I recall being in an awful mood when I was writing that chapter. I know it's no excuse, but I definitely don't plan on rushing other chapters like that one.
And don't worry, I will say how the killers were named "The Twins."
Again, thank you.

Hmmm. I found this randomly, and I got to say, I'm not mad about it!

I really like how you set up the story. You brought in each character in with a hint of who they are. I also like where the story is going, about The Twins. I'm actually a serial killer dork and I know the ins and out about that stuff. Which also makes it hard for me to read about serial killers. But I think you are doing a pretty good job with the idea and exploring it.

The only thing I got a little suck on was how fast the second chapter was. The whole fire scene was rushed greatly. Like it wasn't important. But then it's revealed the children are godchildren to one of the characters. Which made the chapter feel a bit more rushed. I'm not saying its a bad thing. It's just better to detail events that are important. I think so far you did a old job with it anyway.

One more thing. This is only because I'm so fascinated with serial killers. I hope you say how the killers were named "The Twins". Because most serial killers get named by the public, or they name themselves. Also I would suggest them being active more than a month. That's a very short period and would cause the entire town to go into a frenzy. Meaning curfews, school closing and things of that nature.

But you did a great job.

Oh-my-freaking-god, You're story gave me goosebumps. I'm loving it so far. Please update soon! Ahh, I feel so twisted, but your first chapter was so great, sweet and to the point! The professor seems like he's going to be a total creep, I like it. :D