The Lake - Comments

I felt that Jynx's death so hard, ugh.

I finally got back into reading this! I am as hooked as ever and I was not expecting all of this to play through like this! Wow! So I'm up to the chapter where Fiona says she'd bust a cap in his anything oh my God. Your writing is so perfect!

Ohh noo. So now we know what her plan was. Her poor cat :(

So I think this chapter was all about delving deeper into the relationship and personalities of Fiona and Billie. It felt like a very real, tense moment between two friends. I particularly felt this in their dialogue, and even thought there wasn't much, their words pretty much said everything about what they are thinking and where they feel they are in this situation.

We glimpsed into Fiona's actual personality this chapter. Every other time we have sort of seen Fi to be a happy, go lucky, cheerful and outgoing friend, the kind of friend who's just that silly person you know. Always there to light up your life and bring colour and more characters to the story. But now I feel like Fiona isn't just in this story to be someone for Billie to confide in. I'm glad she's aware of what's happening, and her worried and serious side has been uncovered. I feel like you slowly begin revealing various dimensions to so many of the characters that my expectations for who they are, are always blown away! First with Penelope, then Jackson, Phillipa was a massive one, now Fiona. I feel like Billie is due for a layer to be revealed soon, but again you may defy my expectations.

It was also good to have a little break. A break from action, Jackson, horror, because we just needed a chapter where we had time to think about things. I'm excited to see what they might uncover and how far they'll go into detective mode. maybe they'll go too far, who knows. Update ASAP so we can find out!!!

This is perfect! If this were a movie, I'd definitely watch it. But, it doesn't have to be a movie - I can picture everything in my head perfectly with all of the detailed descriptions you give :) definitely one of my new favorite stories!

Awesome story! This gives me chills... I really want I know what's up with that house. Hope you update soon loving this story!

I loved this, you are seriously a really talented writer! I love horror stories and this one was perfect! I can see why it won the competition for horrors. It had great description, I love it! Great work!

ahhhhhhh this was so amazing i read the whole thing on my phone! Haha I have to get my laptop charged before I can do a full proper comment haha but seriously update asap I need more right now! :)

So I couldn't help but be particularly drawn to the words you used in this chapter. The writing was very delicate, and kept to a nice brief sort of flow. Not too much description, but just enough to construct imagines in your head. But despite your choice of using more simple sentences, I think the words you used were what made the images powerful and creative. Tendrils. Nipping. Inky leeches. My favourite line would probably be:

I screamed then, a piercing syllable that shattered the surface of the lake.

It's constructed in such a simple manner, but it is pure image and purely powerful. That's what good writing is.

Her brother is rather creepy, like can we say psycho? These children are starting to freak me out, and they remind me of little demons. When I picture them smiling, I imagine them as looking like Venom from Spiderman. Those big, sharp teeth with a drooling mouth. Disgusting and entirely evil. That's what I think of every time I see them smile, but that's good because I think that means you know how to make something sound or look evil. You have a certain talent for writing scary scenes, especially those with demonic or evil characters in them. You know how to bring out the corrupt, and surface it completely. It's very confrontational, but it's what a good horror story needs. Especially this one.

I feel like this chapter revealed a lot for me, and wasn't just a chapter about something scary. I feel a lot more in the loop about what's happening, especially with Jackson's character. He's making more and more sense, and I especially like that you put that small interaction between him and Philippa at the end. I'm curious to their relationship.

I find it incredibly interesting that he's been helping the other people who have been living in the house! It makes me wonder how many people lived there, and what happened to them. How did Jackson help them, and also I'm curious to know how he interacted with them. Did he just show up on their doorstep too? In any case, I'm liking Jackson a hundred times more now because I don't think he's up to something. I feel like he's gained my trust again. ;)

Philippa is so interesting, I don't know what it is about her. The way you've characterized her is so good, she has so many different dimensions that I'm trying to work out. I love the way you've made her character, bitter and rude but she has another layer in there somewhere. It's to the point where I don't know whether to hate her or not.

Another brilliant chapter! I had a nightmare last night from reading it. -.- But hey! Haha, update again soon please!

Please update again! I loved the last chapter, and her relationship with Fiona is so amazing and unique. Haha, it's nice to see a friendship in a story, that actually genuinely does feel like a friendship. They have strange nicknames and they treat each other in a way that's like they are each other. It just feels very realistic to me, whereas a lot of stories I've read, the characters just get along really well. I feel like there's actually a bond between her and the rest of the characters. And that's including Penelope.
I can't wait to see what happens next. I have no idea what Jackson is hiding. And what's with the Tate name change? Hmmm I'd love to find out! Please continue!! You have me on the edge of my seat.

Oh man! I don't want her to leave but then she's stuck with Penelope Andorra kids would probably die. Meeh! I want more updates plz!

Oh man! I don't want her to leave but then she's stuck with Penelope Andorra kids would probably die. Meeh! I want more updates plz!

Must... haz... mooooooore

You updated!! Ahh! I'm so happy that u updated.. Is getting very mysterious and I'm loving every part of it.

Ahh! I was so excited to see this update, and once again you blew away my expectations!! Why do they always go into the creepy house in horror stories? Always puts me one edge! But I admire her for wanting to find out what's happened and why this is happening to her. At first glance you don't really think of her character as a brave one, and then I think about doing this kind of thing and researching ghosts you've actually seen, and it makes me think wow she has guts. They're hidden in there, but she's got something tough about her. I think that after what's happened to her she has become independent and found her own self. And I think that's the reason why she always thinks of Thomas, because she likes to think about what she's moved on From and become stronger from. She may say she hates thinking about him because she hates him so much, but I think right now she sort of feels proud of herself for being strong enough to leave and be at the place she is now.

Oh gosh, this story wouldn't be as breezy to read if it wasn't for your luring words. Silver strings occupied corners. Haha I just think you're able to describe something so small in such a creative way and it produces some incredibly poetic imagery. It gives the story that haunting kind of beauty, like a ghost or something.

I want to read so much more of her diary!!!! Jesus those entries were so interesting I am so glad you put those in there, it's such a good way for her to find out what happened and for her to understand Penelope on a deeper level. Parker freaked me out, but I think it's really cool that things were happening to Penelope and her family before she died. She seems to be tied to the lake in a more intimate way that makes me think this wasn't a random accident. I can't wait to find out what happened to them next. At what point does she come back home? When does she get drawn into the lake? Is something in there? I want to read more of them so badly! Haha.

I'm now sceptical of Jackson. As much as I love his character I don't appreciate that he's hiding things from us. especially since he seems to be staying really close to her. There's just now things I am skeptical about when it comes to him. I have no idea what his intentions are and why he thinks it's a good idea to encourage her to stir bad blood. But then again he might just want Penelope to rest and maybe he thinks this is the way to do it??

Anyway please please update as soon as you can I'm desperate to find out what happens next.

Please update asap! Having withdrawal symptoms!

So happy you updated!!! I'e been waiting for so long (:

@ SmilingScarlet
I know! It has been ages and I'm not quite convinced I even like the update!!!! But I've been so busy lately! Hopefully I can get the next chapter up soon!

@ TaraJanee
The next chapter is super revealing ;) I think you will be pleased!!

OH MY GOD YOU UPDATED!!

Man I'm so keen to find out what actually happened to her, drop more hints!!