A Shameful Part of Me - Comments

This was chosen for me by comment swap.
Oh my god, if I had to compare you to a famous writer, I would not know who to pick because the writing is both alike and yet it's your own. I could picture the mother, in my mind's eye she had the haughty, high cheek bones and the Roman nose that patrician women are known for. I could see a Victorian setting even though you never gave us a timeline and that's what made it so perfect. There was no need for you to give us one. I could see the father: tall. Handsome, but tired and weary around the edges. I didn't have to picture the child, he/she could've been anyone, it didn't matter. That's what made it perfect. I was never confused and I was always enthralled.

comment swap
Wow, this was a really beautiful read. Your imagery is flawless and I love how I could picture everything in my head so clearly. I loved that this was told in a reflective sense - like you didn't tell the story as it was happening but rather the narrator was reminiscing on the past, which I thought was a more effective way of telling the story. Even though you swapped tenses a lot, it didn't even matter because the story just flowed so effortlessly. The only criticism I'd have is that I thought the layout didn't seem fitting for the mood of the story, otherwise I can't really pick any faults.

@ swell
Thank you :) I'm glad you enjoyed reading it and I appreciate your comment ^^

Wow, this was a really beautiful read. Your imagery is flawless and I love how I could picture everything in my head so clearly. I loved that this was told in a reflective sense - like you didn't tell the story as it was happening but rather the narrator was reminiscing on the past, which I thought was a more effective way of telling the story. Even though you swapped tenses a lot, it didn't even matter because the story just flowed so effortlessly. The only criticism I'd have is that I thought the layout didn't seem fitting for the mood of the story, otherwise I can't really pick any faults.

This pieces was beautifully written. Her point of view contained such imagery and sensory. It was told with the most minimal words and somehow seemed to be told with the most descriptive. Simple and elegantly told. I like how the story is told as a reflection and not in the present. It really makes the story and her point of view that much better. Keep up the great writing.

That was wonderful, you are quite the brialliant writer and yes, I did spell that wrong, it doesn't matter, take the compilment. Everything about this is great, the layout, the theme, the style, the point of view. This is all just absolutly wonderful. Your describtions and such were also great. I hope you write like this a lot, because I want to see more. Again, great job.