Third Plague Wave - Comments

Hello,

Must I say, writing one sentence for a summary I thought about how good this story was going to be. I honestly need to stop being like this because when I actually read the sentance, I got chills. Chills, when I read the first paragraph, and chills when I read on.

Beautifully executed. Astounding phrasing and description. Short sweet conscise explanation of thought, description of character, it was all so amazing. POV writing style is spot on, realistic in the time frame created, realistic dialogue between dynamically developed characters in the first chapter alone.

The only thing I could critique was your title, it sounded awkward when said aloud but I understand the intention of it. Maybe rephrase it but this is just an opinion. Also the length of the chapter, a bit long, I believe it would be better to divide it so people don't go man this is really long do I really have to read all of this? it's happened so many times and with a story like this it would be such a loss for the other critiques.

Other than that, I applaud you for such creativity with a common topic. Great originality.

From comment swap. First off I really like the very uniqueness about the general idea And story line. I like your use of words and your descriptions. I didnt see any spelling mistakes or grammar errors so overall the piece was written beautifully with no flaws. As for you trying to write a characte for a female i think it's awesome you've decided to that because I know it's hard to write as a different gender, my only advice for that issue is to study and reseach, (of you already have do some more) read female narrated pieces and you know try and think like a lady if u wanna pull the character. Doing that might help you pull it off. Anyways, good luck with your story. Hope the made sence too.