Living in Dreamworld - Comments

@ Crystal2
Sorry I forgot to 'reply' well your answer is in my comment below. P.S. I'm so glad you like this!!

Yes but I've bee focusing on my Kellic I might update today or tomorrow. I'm not finished.

This is a really good story, and i like it a lot. Will there be any more to this story?

@ poison and blood.
Thank you so much! I'm so glad I gave your support!!

@ xxcarolineunoxx
Hey I just read your comment response! LOL I'm such a loser for taking so long!
Listen, don't put your writing down with the fact that you're twelve. Age doesn't mean anything when it comes to talent! You've got it in you, you just need to keep doing it and doing it until one day, you sit back and realize, "Holy shit, I'm a great writer!"
I promise...it will come!
Besides, while I may have made you out to be earlier, you really aren't a bad writer...You just have a lack of expertise that, perhaps, comes from being new to writing such adult topics. I know the first few times I got into some darker and more mature things, I was quite hesitant!
BTW, your story doesn't suck. Just see this as a stepping stone in which you can learn from to achieve something greater.
Like, literally...I'm your biggest fan. I'm rooting for you all the way!

omg cant wait to see what happens im on the edge of my sit waiting! ;)

@poisonandblood thank you so much for actually being honest! I don't take it as mean. I know that it pretty much sucks but I am only 12. I was thinking of dropping this story anyway. I'm sick of it. Thanks!

The problem with your story is that it is immature and I don't think you are being taken seriously when you deserve to be. The cold truth. :(
The writing style is weak and your plot is all over the place and doesn't transition well or make any sense. It seems like you are often forgetting what you've already written, and that is a big issue when creating a story.
She's too young and there is nothing very exciting about it because it is extremely cliche.
I think if you stopped and thought a little more (not that you aren't already), it would really benefit you.
However mean this may sound, if I were you, I'd restart entirely. Rethink it, new name, layout etc ... something more sophisticated.
Study up on grammar, read some stories, and be sure to do it analyticly so you can get better at character building (which you had none of and that might be the most crucial part to making a good story), sentences, punctuation, dialogue ...think about EVERYTHING.
Now, you'll do want you want, but that is my advice. You can become a great writer and I'd love to see you excel.
Feel free to message me if you need any help with anything. If you need ideas, proofreading, a layout, whatever...I'm here!
Honestly, I might seem harsh, but I've taken the time to read all of your story and I want you to receive the notice that you are looking for. (:

@Rockchic4 thanks! Do you think I should continue?

Amazing !!<3

@ ItWasn'tMe
mwahahathank you.

@ lovegreenday
I know and good evil laugh by the way.

@ ItWasn'tMe

mwahahahaha. only I know what will happen next.

Oh no.. Poor Camille, I have a feeling someone's going to go crazy

@PillowGhostie
You are so awesome!!! Maybe i'll join your contest with this story.......

Oh my god!! Thanks so much!! Congrats on being the first one to comment!!

I love this story! First Green Day fan fiction I've read in a long time, so happy I decided to check this one out :))