This was so breathtakingly sad. It broke my heart! The flow of the words and the way you wrote it all out was amazing. I saw no grammatical errors and your word usage was very nice! (I loved how you used the word "dormant" because I never read that in a story and it's a nice change. Lol ) You describe Ellie's emotions perfectly, even I felt horrible about myself when I was reading it, and then you completely filled me with anxiety when her brother came home and he was walking up the stairs. The scene was so eerie and you transmitted his fear beautifully by writing about the silence. This was a great read! Make sure you keep up the good work! :)
December 14th, 2013 at 11:48pm
