Zacky - Comments

I'm here as a judge for the First A7X Contest.

That was very sudden and surprising. I knew it was going to be smut, but I think more of a build-up would have helped make it a lot less jarring and like it went from 0 to 100 way too quickly. Because of the lack of details and back story, I felt like I had no idea what was going on until everything was happening and then it was over.

I think if you add some back story, specifically related to who these characters are, why he "knows" that she wants him, and their relationship to each other, it would help the readers understand what is happening. At the moment it just seems like he's a bit of a stalker and is almost forcing her to do things, which doesn't necessarily seem like the case. I would also suggest adding in some detail to add padding to the smut, so it doesn't seem so sudden and like it almost comes out of nowhere. That way, the reader has a better idea of what to expect and it isn't so surprising.

Thanks for entering!

i love aggressive zacky. mmm.
I followed her without her noticing till she entered the very back room of the third floor which was filled with old filing cabinets and broken computers. Soon I heard her moaning and that was my cue to act and make her mine.
this was a little unclear to me and i had to reread a few times to understand. maybe make it a little more clear that he knew she was disappearing to take care of herself?
I knew it…she wanted me but she didn’t want to admit it. What she hadn’t realized yet was that this was her limit. She would be mine…now.
ellipses aren't something to be used often, i wouldn't use two in one paragraph.
the sex was good and i just now realized that she didn't have a name. i like that, but it's driving me crazy!
my only real complaint is that it could've used a little more detail, just in the way she looked or how it was that zack touched her, or how she responded.
really good though! thanks for entering my contest. :)

If only I could trade places with this girl :p you're writing is on point my dear. You really know how to write a sexy sex scene. I loved this

Whew!!! Damn haha I still have half a house to clean and of course this would be the one story I read on my break. I think I need a cold shower now!!! What an awesomely, descriptive short story! All I can think of now is Zacky, and that to me is foreign because I've never been a fan of Zacky in that kind of way.. usually I'm all Syn or Shadows... Nope... I think I've turned tables haha. Kudos!!!

Damn! Talk about hot and steamy! You get really into the description but that's always a plus! It's always better to read something like this when the author knows how to properly describe what the hell is going on. I tip my hat to you (if I had one)! You're a fantastic writer and this was great. Definantly one of my favourites.

Oh my, this was incredibly hot and steamy and just UNFF! I love me some hot and sexy Zacky, this was just perfect!

whoa that was very hot

Woo woo that was nice, hot, and steamy! Zacky is soooo hot!

God that was so hot.

I love it when they resist knowing she will give in :) damn girl that was hot and steamy woah *fans self*

HOT, HOT, HOT!!!

Hot damn! That was a hot sex scene. I need a fan. I would love to have sex with Zacky like that. Having him sex me up that way. I'd love it! :D I love the who situation of how Zacky knew that he was going to get her. She knew that he was going to get her. And in the end, they have sex. I loved it. :D