Bruise - Comments

I'm not a huge fan of this type of story if i'm honest, but I read on because this is comment swap and i'm a fair sort.
I found myself kinda enjoying it, the story did drag me in, but I did find that some of your sentences are very stop.start as regards to flow and you could do with utilising other forms of punctuation to help the flow.

other than that, I really enjoyed the story, but it was a little dark for me.

however, I would definitely keep going if I were you - the more you write, the more the story came to life, so keep going. 'sure if I generally enjoyed this type of story I would really like it.

Interesting first few chapters! I typically stay away from vampire stuff but this seems good. Definitely keep going!

@ CassieKazee
Hey I feel you on the insecure thing. Dropping a comment means a lot to everyone here. And haha that's awesome. Nice job!

@ Javin Pilotte
thank you so much! i mean i took a break from writing because i honestly feel very insecure about the way i write. i feel it isnt good enough at some points. but i really apreciate the compliment. you have no idea. and i love the skeletons as well. thats why i chose the layout. it was too awesome to pass up. i almost forgot i painted that image of delilah. it gives me shivers to think about it

I love your writing style.

The image here is especially powerful and haunting: "The soft, golden ringlets flowed into a sea of red that continued to pool into the once white carpet. Delilah’s little white nightgown began fading into an intense pink. The gash on her stomach spilled red, and the deep gashes covered her head to toe."

The cliffhanger of your fourth chapter is crazy ohman. I also adore the skeletons in your layout--- I love their attitudes.

@ CountryGirl712
Hi! I wanted to say thank you. Haha. Im almost done with one of the newer chapters. I have been crazy busy lately and it was just crazyness.... but i hope to finish the chapter today. :D thanks for the compliment on the poem. Its something i wrote a long time ago....

please please please write more this is so amazingly written I can't believe it

One of the best stories I have read on this site. Wow. just wow.

Comment swap:
First of all, I love your layout! It really drew attention to the story, that picture was a really, really good hook! Very interesting. Also I knew I was going to love this story the minute I saw that there was someone called Delilah in it because that's my favourite name!! Your description is spine-tinglingly good. You set it out in a way that's easy to read the first chapter kept me immediately interested. You can show not tell really, really well which is difficult to do. You have extreme talent as a writer! That poem that the red headed boy wrote was so beautiful. Sorry I'm just on the first chapter and I can't wait to read more! Reccommended and subscribed!

@ Ella_Rose
thank you so much!!!!! :D i almost thought I was being too descriptive. haha i hope you continue to read!

I was brought here by comment swap... I really like this, the description is amazing. I love the names and your style though and you're a very good writer

@ CassieScars
Hello CassieScars. Thank you for reading my story! it means a lot to me! and hey, i have no problem with you starting in the middle. often times when i am at a book store and i am not sure about what book i want, i will flip to a random section, read, and see if i want to actually buy it and read it from the beginning. i think its a good strategy. I'm sorry if anything i wrote made you mad. but i guess that's why i like writing. its not about me making people mad, but its about me bringing out emotion in another person. I like to see people form an opinion and discuss it. Civil Discourse is something that i take seriously and i would love to see more people participate it. civil discussions open the mind up to new possibilities and knowledge. on that note, i would like to bring up your position on Skye's name. in my opinion, a child's name has nothing to do with the way they will grow up. a man names "Lesley" can be a quarterback on a football team and can be extremely manly. but to me, gender rolls don't apply when it comes to naming a child. and i think Skylar is a fairly universal name. I loved hearing your opinion on Skye's name though, it gave me a new perspective! I'm happy to see that you are forming opinions and such. i figured i would state my own opinion in order to promote independent ideas and free thinking!
I hope you continue reading
- CassieKazee

I'm from comment swap so I literally just went into the middle of the book. Which I immensely regret because I actually like this story. Anyway in that chapter you have "tuff it out" and that kinda bugged me out tough it out I guess is what it meant although it may be coloquial terminology. You tend to capitalise words that dont need to be. I love Skye and I really empathised with him. I also hate them for naming him Skylar. Like what the fuck dad? If you wanted a manly kid why give him a chick's name? In other words your plot was enough for me to actually form an opinion on the characters rather than me just being a grammar nazi which I typically am not. But yes. I will be subscribing and I will return to the beginning because I adore this story.

@ VeronaViridian
Awe thank you so much! Its nice to know to know that i wrote well enough to cause you to feel strong emotion, on the other hand, inhope you are ok! Skye's suffering ends soon i can promise that... in like a chapter or two something good will happen! I hope i didnt fully turn you away from my story. Thanks for the comment! You are very sweet! :D

OMG . . He's mute! I just hate his family too much! The second chapter literally brought tears to my eyes! I almost can't keep reading . . I feel too sorry, but on the other hand, you have really managed to pull me in as well! Hope you do keep writing more!

~ Verona :)

@ EllaCarden
thank you so much! :D

This is an amazing story please keep updating

@ Armin Arlert
Thank you so much! I actually have a strong attachment to my characters! I guess that is why i focus so much of my time on them. And sorry about the font. I am having trouble when it comes to themes! Im currently writing another story! And im dreading looking for a theme! Thanks for subscribing! You are so nice!!!!

From Comment Swap
Wow oh wow this was great. Your writing is wonderful, and you have just the right amount of description. You do an amazing job of creating your characters and not just with physical features. They actually have depth, which a lot of authors on this site fail to do with their own characters. To me, the font of the text was too small, but again, I have suckish eyes.
I'm subscribing and looking forward to updates!