Asphyxia - Comments

The story is called Beyond This Point and I just want you to be aware that I have edit ted a hood chunk of it but I am aware that it probably needs a lot more of editing. But I think its still good to go and please leave me tips and advice. I hope it doesn't make you frustrated when reading it but just understand that its not to bad. Thank you so so much for this, I really appreciate this.

@ scarhead4

What story would you like me to look at?

really enjoyed reading this story, very good detailing on the characters, especially your describition on everything thats going on with the characters. Keep up the good writing can't wait to read more of yours. Oh and I would so appreciate it if you could my story and give a rating and give me some tips on my writing and how I can make it better. Cause I see that your a great writer and I would so be happy and even honored if you would comment my story. I have edit ted a lot of it but I am still going to edit more better. Thank you so much :) keep up the good workreally enjoyed reading this story, very good detailing on the characters, especially your describition on everything thats going on with the characters. Keep up the good writing can't wait to read more of yours. Oh and I would so appreciate it if you could my story and give a rating and give me some tips on my writing and how I can make it better. Cause I see that your a great writer and I would so be happy and even honored if you would comment my story. I have edit ted a lot of it but I am still going to edit more better. Thank you so much :) keep up the good work

I'm not a fan of dark and disturbing pieces, but I do find that this is well written. I wasn't able to get far, only because it's not my cup of tea. But your detail is so potent and your voice is strong. It shows for sure!

@ Harleen.

Yay I'm so glad you liked it. I've noticed many errors too but I haven't fixed them yet XD

Also, I've found a few mistakes but because of the story being so good, I ignore them.

Also, I've found a few mistakes but because of the story being so good, I ignore them.

I agree with the other commenters. I've only gotten the end of chapter six. :o Woooowie. This story is much different from most I've read. I'm enjoying it so far. It's creepy, gruesome, sad and so much more. I love it.

@ krista loves you!

Thank you for the comment! I hope you do keep reading and some parts even make me cringe!

Wow, never have I read anything like this on Mibba. It is really interesting, and I do cringe at parts in these chapters; after the first chapter, I knew I had to keep reading. Keep it up!

Wow, never have I read anything like this on Mibba. It is really interesting, and I do cringe at parts in these chapters; after the first chapter, I knew I had to keep reading. Keep it up!

@ Lestat de Lioncourt.

That comment has made my night, it actually makes me want to continue this story.

This is a really interesting story, and I've never read anything like it before. I feel so bad for Ai and am really intrigued to find out what is going to happen to her and why she is in this situation in the first place. It almost has a kind of dystopian feel to it, which is great because I love dystopian. So far I think you have a wonderful premise and this is a great piece. I really actually like how short the chapters are, because it makes you want to keep reading and never seems like to daunting, if that makes any sense. Anyway, great job so far. Keep up the good work!