I See What Others Don't - Comments

this has some great potential, the way it was written from Lzzy's perspective won me over. It's been a while since this has been updated but I think it would be fab if you did! I feel like it could have a really, really great storyline and plot- I just wish I knew what direction it was going to take.

Please continue! I can't wait for more. :3

Yes continue!

I like your idea sammy1712.

I like your idea sammy1712.

I like your idea sammy1712.

What sammy1712 said-that sounds interesting...don't forget to throw in some smut/lemons here and there ;)

i <3 this hope for the next update :P

I think the story has a lot of potential. I have a suggestion that maybe you should start with the main character leading his thoughts from the attractiveness of his new neighbor to trying to find out why she's there and later to reveal a conflict with her past. It's just a suggestion because I'm a sucker for the intense romances.

You must continue!!! Don't change how you write I love it :3

*Comment swap*
Sounds quite creative to me but i think you should include more background to the girls side of the story it seemed very vague the explanation of why she had moved.. I dont know as a reader i wouldve liked to see more or read more on her as much as matt because she is also a lead character, if that makes sense to you. I hope this suggestion helps you some so you can continue your story! Happy writing!

Sounds quite creative to me

I THINK IT'S GREAT SO FAR!!

I THINK IT'S GREAT SO FAR!!

CONTINUE!!!!

@ Raised.Oregon.Style
Thanks! How does one put a layout in their story? (I'm new to this)

*Comment Swap*
So first off, I suggest finding a layout for your story. It has a big effect on whether or not a reader will actually choose to read the story. I think your plot is solid, but you need to work on your grammar. Write about the details, what the character is feeling, the setting, and what they are wearing. Draw the reader in!