Just Best Friends - Comments

:)

@ Thatmom
I will update! I'm so so so so sorry! I really need to update this story. It will happen!

I really miss this story:)

@ mibba01234
I will update soon! (:

I love your story and I can't wait to see where their relationship goes! Please update soon!!!

@ Twiggy.
Thank you so much :)

*Comment Swap*

I've never read sport fiction, and I don't actually understand sports at all haha (so it took me a while to realise it was about hockey, but that's probably just me and my lack of knowledge) but the romance aspect of it is something I can understand with no trouble. This was well written and enjoyable to read. It seems to be well thought out, and your characters are believable. Definitely promising.

Great job! :) x

@ XSoulXLoverX
Anytime! :)

@ You_InspireMe
Thank you soooo much! :)

I'm here from comment swap!

This was an interesting change. I don't read sports fiction... like at all. This was really enjoyable to say the least. cx I really enjoyed it. At the beginning, it's a bit jumpy and fast paced but not so badly that it doesn't make since and it gets better as it goes along. I saw minimal-to-no spelling, grammar, and punctuation mistakes. That's a plus for me! :) The sex part is very detailed. That's all I'll say about it haha. There isn't a whole lot I like to say about graphic scenes like that so... yeah. Moving on! Haha. I first saw it and thought "oh, it doesn't have a layout." It threw me off at first but it didn't take away from the story at all so I wouldn't worry about it too much. Your writing style is easily understood. Very good. I didn't realize it was Hockey at first though. That's like the only thing.

Great job!
Xoxo, Harley ;)

@ neon.band.aids.
I didn't want the proposal to happen yet. I think that it would have been too much for this point. I am glad you seemed to enjoy it!

Awww! I loved it! They're too cute. And definitely perfect timing after everything that had just happened. I'm glad he didn't propose though. That's a huge step and I think for as much as he loves her it should be special and thoroughly planned out! Please update again soon!

This is a change. Don't think I've ever seen a sports fiction before. You're definitely not beating around the bush with the sex part! One thing I will con-crit on, is the flow of the story is a little jumpy at the start. It does mellow out and get better and more detailed. It moves along at a nice pace. Also specify the sport. :P Foreigners like myself to American sport didn't recognise it was hockey until I read further on in the chapter/s. (I personally thought it was football, don't ask me why. :P) But you did a good job describing the character when playing sport!

I like the personalities and their nonchalant towards sex and each other. I think perhaps more character formation would be great, more of back story to each character would be brilliant. It helps the reader have something to go from. But I did like the conversations. I had a few laughs.

Lastly your approach to sex is very mature and you address some serious issues like sex before marriage, the idea that two consenting adults does not make you whorish and that in the sports world sex seems to be somewhat common. Overall with a few tweaks, you could really make this a work of art and possibly lead the way for future sports fan fictions to pop up. :)

@ SaraK
Thanks so much! This means a lot to me! :D I am glad you enjoyed it!

Just best friends, eh? Best friends with benefits haha! You know, I've never seen a sports fanfic on here, I like the originality. I knew the name Sidney Crosby, but I couldn't remember where. But once I read the first paragraph, I knew you were talking about hockey.

Anyway, I applaud you for doing something different, and I like it. Even though I don't know much about hockey, it was easy to follow along with your story. Keep up the good work.

@ neon.band.aids.
Working on chapter 12 :)

NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO you can't do that to us. THAT'S TORTURE! please update again soon!

@ bmxs38
;) Just wait to see what happens in chapter 12

AHHHHH JUST TELL HER SIDNEY GOD JUST NUT UP ALREADY.

@ Jordyn4
You're right ;)