Unholy Creatures - Comments

Even though you have decided to discontinue this, I'll still review it. And, of course, I apologize for the extremely late mibbaween delivery.

Alright, first off, the story lines is amazing. Your characterization is on point, but try to stay away from the archetypes. Starting out with four strong characters is a little risky. Additionally, try not to tell everything, show some things as well. Your method is used by a lot of writers today, but having a blend of characterization will help your future works stand out much more than they already do.

Also, even after I crash read this in forty-five minutes, I still remember the last sentence of the first chapter. My, that was a great edition.

As for grammar and the likes, you're spot on.

Overall, 7/10 story. I am rec'ing. Best of luck to you!

Finallyyyyyy, you know how much I love this story, dont leave it so long else I'll cry! ;)

I like it :)

Update. Now. Thanks. ;)

Oh, my, God. Stop trying to win me over as an obsessive reader, you sneaky person! ;) I LOVE stories about post-end of days type stuff. LOVE. I just made a whole contest about it.

Anyway. Your layout is gorgeous. Your intro is fabulous, your descriptions are to die for. Please explain why you were surprised to win my contest...? Haha. I'm subscribing to this, and definitely not just because you won first place. I rarely find stories of this genre on Mibba, and this one is awesomely written to boot. So..yeah. I love you right now.

I want to start by saying 1) your layouts are always the best and 2) you're one of my favorite writers on here!

Anyway, the amount of description you use is astonishing! It's amazing how much detail you can put into the story. It paints such a clear picture.

The summary itself was really intriguing, which is great. The plot is super original, which is something very important to me as a reader. I can't find any major grammar mistakes so you're totally good there. Overall, this is really great! Again, I'm a huge fan of all your work , so keep writing!

This is such a cool layout. I like the way the links to the chapters look, it's so cool. And the descriptions are so vivid! I'm a sucker for descriptive paragraphs. It makes me feel like I'm there and I can see everything that happens and what the characters are doing. The writing itself is stellar. This is great!

I really like this, it's the first wolf story I've ever read, it was very interesting c:

THE BANNER IS SO COOL. I love the black and white look.
Oh and that summary is so... catchy! I don't know how to describe it.
Your descriptions are the bomb dot com. Its like I'm watching TV. I can clearly see everything thats going on. Great job on that!

I also like how you you call them Howlers.

I believe that all of your layouts are probably extremely beautiful. I mean I haven't checked all of them but this and the last are just so gorgeous and seeing it just made me smile. Also, I know you didn't make the banner but gosh it's lovely. The only thing is that because it's all mostly monochrome I think that if the background was a little more gray (not completely, but maybe as gray as the link color) it would work so well.

Ohh the summary was so pretty. I don't know what to think about the story from it but it was nice to read.

- but now she was stern, and vicious, and didn't... : but now she was stern, vicious, and didn't...
- An uprising can really change a girl... : An uprising could really change a girl...
- waiting for an opportunity to use it... : This I found confusing because of how the sentence prior to it wa about her eyes and her grip. It could be rewritten I believe as, waiting for an opportunity to use the weapon in hand... or something of the sort, just a suggestion.
- she'd had to grow up : Because she'd can be broken up to she had I don't believe the sentence needs to be she'd had. I think that it could just be she had with italics.
- And they’re overly mushy make-ups... : Sorry about stating this again but usually sentences starting with and make me feel iffy, also they're is expanded to they are I don't think it would make sense in that sentence.

So that was the first chapter, I think that in my opinion it could be split up into two chapters, one focusing on characters and one focusing on the action but the ending to it was very, very gripping.

- ...he was God! And... : I think you could put these two sentences together to make one with an exclamation at the end, like Now he was God, and being God felt immense! With the exclamation it sounds very excited as it should, with a period I believe it sounds very final and makes for a really strong ending.

So I like this, and though I'm a little uncertain what it's about I think it's pretty interesting. One thing that REALLY stood out to me, like extremely was your descriptions. Never have I ever felt so more engrossed (is that the right word?) in description, it was so amazingly written out and you went about it so effortlessly, I was so impressed. I really do think this has a lot of potential, maybe if you instead of starting where you have with this story, but start before the uprising (I believed you called it) and ending the chapter something like and then the uprising happened. Or something to that effect, you could fit more of the information into the story.

Comment swap brought me here! Im so glad it brought me to this story! I have so much love for this!!! Ok your description and summary caught my eye! It made me want to read! Once i started reading i almost died! Your descriptions are A++! The way you described things was beautiful! I wish there was more for me to read.... wow! Haha i write original fiction myself! Maybe you can check out my story and tell me what you think? I always like to have a great writer's input! - cassie

Dear Lord I absolutely L.O.V.E this omgomgomg its so good! :D write some more like now before I tie you to a chair and force you to! ;)

Here from Le Comment Swap.
First off, I think your title and layout are fabulous. They both really drew me in. I love the plot! It's so original to what I've read before, and I think the summary is really sweet. Your grammar is good, I can't spot more than one or two mistakes, so that's awesome! Good job, I'll be waiting to read more.

I love this story but I'm slightly confused, I swear I commented it on it before.
I can't wait to see where your gonna take this.