Karl the Great - Comments

  • A Decade in the Sun

    A Decade in the Sun (320)

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    *comment swap* hi there! So I quite like this. I'm a little confused as to why it's labelled gay smut when Karl seems to be obsessed with ladies more than men but I presume there's more to come? One big thing I noticed was you use names repeatedly instead of he or she. It can be very distracting. Overall I like this and I encourage you to write more (:
    October 10th, 2013 at 07:38pm
  • blade_bunny

    blade_bunny (100)

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    I'm not really sure what to think about this story. I mean, I hate Karl to an extent, but I feel as though there's something more, something better, to him. My heart hurts for Luke though because he's hung up on this jerkface who's screwing other people. and blah blah blah. The characters are excellently written within just two chapters.
    July 11th, 2013 at 03:52pm
  • lou...

    lou... (100)

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    Karl is a bastard and I love him. He plays the role of the manly man so well, his character is very interesting. And there are so many people that I still want to know and I can't wait for the plot to do a drastic turn. Your dialogues are amazing and I am jealous :).
    July 9th, 2013 at 06:36pm
  • midnight_walker

    midnight_walker (100)

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    I fricken love this! I love the layout first off it's very clean, reminds me of a photography studio, and just the overall feel of it was excellent for the mood and background of the story. I love the way you describe the photographer and his process of taking pictures, to me it was pretty fun to read being a photographer myself. I don't usually read smut just because it makes me uncomfortable but I made it through your story and was able to enjoy what you have written so far.

    comment swap
    July 9th, 2013 at 04:26pm
  • infinitepastelmew

    infinitepastelmew (100)

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    I was slightly uncomfortable reading this since, I've never read a smut story before~
    but, I must admit that I can't wait to read more of this story. The characters' relationships are the best part to read since they're intense. (I love the layout picture)- Comment Swap~ :3
    July 9th, 2013 at 02:59am
  • vanduo

    vanduo (100)

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    Thanks everyone for commenting!

    @ You_InspireMe, Karl sees himself as a straight man, however, his choices who to sleep with makes others think he's bi or even gay. Basically, what you said (that he simply enjoys sexual favors from men) is true, but from time to time he has mixed feelings about Igor (it will be shown later).
    July 8th, 2013 at 08:51am
  • harley is awkward.

    harley is awkward. (100)

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    Hello there. You just commented on my story! :D

    Anyway, I am here from comment swap. I like the story but I'm gonna talk about some other stuff first.

    First, I really like the layout. It's simple and easy to read. Not distracting.

    Next, I saw a few grammar mistakes, which isn't bad, and I don't think I saw any spelling errors so that's good.

    And finally, the story. So the main character, Karl, is he bisexual? He seems to be bisexual so that's what I assumed. Although it did say "he would never fall for any man" or something close to that. So does he just enjoy sexual favors from men? Either way the story is very interesting and I'm curious to see what happens next.

    Xoxo,
    Harley
    July 7th, 2013 at 11:40pm
  • mibba is dead

    mibba is dead (100)

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    I'm pretty fond of your writing style. It's easy to read, but does a good job getting you hooked. Even though the layout is simple, it works great for this story :) The way you make the characters interact is amazing. You keep the banter and personality consistent, showing that you actually know the character you've created. People writing original fiction often bend and twist the character's personalities to fit a situation, and feel it's okay because they're the author and created the characters. But that makes it no fun for the readers.
    Good job. I'm eager to read more of your work :3
    July 7th, 2013 at 11:37pm
  • NinthLife

    NinthLife (100)

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    Comment Swap~
    I like the layout first off, it's nice and easy to read. This is not really what I'd usually read aha, but props to you for having the courage to write it. The banter between Karl and Luke is funny so good job on that. Uhm & I didn't see very many grammatical errors. Also I like the bit with the cigarette because not many people manage to write smoking realistically but you do it, so good job yay.
    July 6th, 2013 at 10:42pm
  • Writer in the Rye

    Writer in the Rye (100)

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    **Comment Swap**

    You're an extremely talented writer! You put in little details which really make Igor and Karl's relationship unique and I like how you write with a certain simplicity, all the while grasping at some deeper meanings and topics. It makes a story like this easy to read and meaningful. It flows so nicely, and I'm glad I got to read it. Never, ever, ever, stop writing!!

    Wishing you the best,

    Olivia
    July 6th, 2013 at 08:31pm
  • vanduo

    vanduo (100)

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    @ Snow.White.Queen.
    thanks for your comment. I fixed the text :)
    July 6th, 2013 at 04:03pm
  • Snow.White.Queen.

    Snow.White.Queen. (100)

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    Here from Le Comment Swap. Firstly, the layout is nice. Very simple, but easy to read, so I like that. Maybe making the writing slightly bigger would improve it, but that's just my opinion. I think when you're breaking up paragraphs you need to put more space between them, because multiple times I lost where I was as the writing is so small and there's no space between paragraphs. But in saying that, you're a good writer, keep it up!
    July 6th, 2013 at 03:37pm