Silence - Comments

Oh woah...i was not expecting that. This is absolutely brilliant. My favorite line is : Rewriting my past in a drawing.
This is honestly very good...you use such touching imagery that it made me read this twice just to let it soak in.
Well Done

@ k i w i
interesting opinion, thanks.

I just want to be completely honest. This was very good writing, but for some reason it lacked emotion to me. You used many good words and tried to create the mood and set the tone, which I actually think you achieved it, but it lacked emotion to me. I was hoping to be able to really get a sense of the silence, I expected it to be explosive and have a demanding presence, but it just didn't happen for me. Maybe if you focused more on the details about the silence, I would have felt it more.

The reason I feel that it lacks emotion is because maybe the narrator is talking about the things that she is doing or wants to do. Personally, for me, the tone or mood was not set up effectively.

I did like how you managed to tell a whole story in such a small piece. Or maybe it's part of the whole story, but you get most of it from this. The last line definitely packs a punch and is very unexpected, I was surprised by that, so good job.

Thanks for entering my contest! c:

@ Diligence
Thank you so much for the comment! I'm glad you liked it :)

The layout is a little iffy to me, just because the quote's picture and background is brighter than the black and gray it's up against but that's just my opinion. Nothing really needs to change.

The first word that came to mind after reading this was just, wow. I was really shocked because first, I didn't know what this would be about and second, the twist was just crazy. I love how you there was so much she wanted to say, so much she could have said and should have in my eyes but she could only say one word. And I feel as though the quote in the banner comes into play there because God knows she could have told her father all of the things she wanted to, but didn't and the one word she did say, to me would have been said laced with so much despair and poison. I enjoyed this piece. c:

@ di-nex
Thank you! I'm really glad you liked it!

That was beautiful! I honestly didn't expect for it to be main character's father.

@ Hana_Hitachiin :3
Aw, thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

I LOVE IT!!!!!!!! ♥