June 28th, 2013 at 08:31am
Comment swap.
Okay, so I'm gonna start on some grammatical errors. You forgot a couple apostrophes and used the wrong form of "except" in the first paragraph. I'm probably just being a little too picky though, but hey, it'll help you in the long run.
Other than that, you write very well, putting in a lot of detail. You didn't use a lot of dialogue in the first chapter (which I appreciate) so I wasn't thrown into some big mess. Good work! I can't wait to see how this goes.
I really enjoyed it. I haven't been keeping up with All Time Low since 2011 so this may have inspired me to jump back in. Again, I really enjoyed it and there were a few minor mistakes, but I only see you improving! Much better than anything I could ever write! Update soon because it's lovely!