Okay, so I just stumbled across your stories and I must say, I absolutely adored the first installment. It was seriously so cute and lovely. One of the better Alex stories I've read lately, actually. You're a very good writer. Now, it took me a moment to actually find this second installment because for some reason, while it is connected to the first, when you try to get this second installment from the first installment's page, it takes you to another story page which is pretty much this sequel's summary but it was before you did anything with it. So my suggestion with that would be, delete that other summary page you have up. It's more than likely why you lost readers with this one because people aren't realizing this updated one is here, with updates to it. And I'm going to somewhat critique this second installment... I can see where you wanted to go with this, but I do not believe it has been pulled off successfully. First of all, I'm not sure whether to take this new relationship with her teacher as forced or whether she actually wants it. And I guess maybe that could be argued as the whole point of it, a forced relationship that she begins to believe she actually wants. But if this is the case, I hate it, and perhaps that's just the hopeless romantic in me speaking. I realize stories don't always go the way you want them to. It is ultimately, you, the author, who chooses what goes down. But I honestly think this may be where you're losing readers, or why as many people haven't commented. I don't know. I'm not sure what the commenting consistency was like with the last one, and it's hard to compare with this since that one had 28 chapters compared to just the three of this one so far so maybe the commenting is about the same. Idk. But I would think with the sequel it would increase but that is just my personal thought. My suggestion if you ever continue this story is to make the relationship more so the teacher's fault as opposed to Marie wanting it to. That could make for a more solid plot line I think. And then Alex eventually finds out about it, but doesn't get pissed at Marie but instead the teacher but I personally feel this is just since the teacher initiates it. I just can't believe he acted like that. And Marie clearly didn't express an interest but he went after her anyway. That just disgusts me. The very least you could do is maybe rewrite that where he doesn't right away keep bothering her. I don't know. If that even makes it seem more just. Like wait a while until he tries to kiss her again. I mean I don't want this to happen but it would make it more believable I suppose or perhaps more standable. But I'm just kind of like over it because I ship Marie and Alex all the way. I mean, they love each other. And their relationship shouldn't be hurt like this. Or another suggestion would be to rewrite the sequel entirely and have it where Marie chooses to go on tour with them. Take college classes online or something. Tour can bring up drama as well. But I just feel like this might be a better approach because with this current idea I just kind of feel like there's a total disconnect compared to the first installment. Granted, authors have done that before but few have done it successfully. I'm just kind of not agreeing with this plot line at the moment though so I'm not really sure how I can suggest how you can continue this as is. Unless you take my suggestion about making the relationship more because of the teacher instead of Marie wanting it. But again I guess in a way that could also be argued that it is his fault. All the critiquing aside, I will be here if you choose to continue this story. Or rewrite it perhaps. Maybe a rewrite is in order because maybe you ran out of inspiration? Since it's been two years since it's been updated. Or maybe life just got in the way, but yeah. I enjoyed the first installment so much that even if you do choose to continue with this same plot line, I will try to stick it out with hope that it will be successful and it means that Alex and Marie will somehow work it out. And, yeah... even though it's been a while since you've updated, I just wanted to comment to let you know people are still stumbling across your story and enjoying it, and holding out hope you will continue. :) Be sure to fix the sequel link correctly! And you may still have some old readers hanging around to find it. Or maybe just post an extra note at the end of the first installment with the correct sequel link. :) I will be here.
Now, it took me a moment to actually find this second installment because for some reason, while it is connected to the first, when you try to get this second installment from the first installment's page, it takes you to another story page which is pretty much this sequel's summary but it was before you did anything with it. So my suggestion with that would be, delete that other summary page you have up. It's more than likely why you lost readers with this one because people aren't realizing this updated one is here, with updates to it.
And I'm going to somewhat critique this second installment...
I can see where you wanted to go with this, but I do not believe it has been pulled off successfully. First of all, I'm not sure whether to take this new relationship with her teacher as forced or whether she actually wants it. And I guess maybe that could be argued as the whole point of it, a forced relationship that she begins to believe she actually wants. But if this is the case, I hate it, and perhaps that's just the hopeless romantic in me speaking. I realize stories don't always go the way you want them to. It is ultimately, you, the author, who chooses what goes down.
But I honestly think this may be where you're losing readers, or why as many people haven't commented. I don't know. I'm not sure what the commenting consistency was like with the last one, and it's hard to compare with this since that one had 28 chapters compared to just the three of this one so far so maybe the commenting is about the same. Idk. But I would think with the sequel it would increase but that is just my personal thought.
My suggestion if you ever continue this story is to make the relationship more so the teacher's fault as opposed to Marie wanting it to. That could make for a more solid plot line I think. And then Alex eventually finds out about it, but doesn't get pissed at Marie but instead the teacher but I personally feel this is just since the teacher initiates it. I just can't believe he acted like that. And Marie clearly didn't express an interest but he went after her anyway. That just disgusts me.
The very least you could do is maybe rewrite that where he doesn't right away keep bothering her. I don't know. If that even makes it seem more just. Like wait a while until he tries to kiss her again. I mean I don't want this to happen but it would make it more believable I suppose or perhaps more standable. But I'm just kind of like over it because I ship Marie and Alex all the way. I mean, they love each other. And their relationship shouldn't be hurt like this.
Or another suggestion would be to rewrite the sequel entirely and have it where Marie chooses to go on tour with them. Take college classes online or something. Tour can bring up drama as well. But I just feel like this might be a better approach because with this current idea I just kind of feel like there's a total disconnect compared to the first installment. Granted, authors have done that before but few have done it successfully. I'm just kind of not agreeing with this plot line at the moment though so I'm not really sure how I can suggest how you can continue this as is. Unless you take my suggestion about making the relationship more because of the teacher instead of Marie wanting it. But again I guess in a way that could also be argued that it is his fault.
All the critiquing aside, I will be here if you choose to continue this story. Or rewrite it perhaps. Maybe a rewrite is in order because maybe you ran out of inspiration? Since it's been two years since it's been updated. Or maybe life just got in the way, but yeah.
I enjoyed the first installment so much that even if you do choose to continue with this same plot line, I will try to stick it out with hope that it will be successful and it means that Alex and Marie will somehow work it out.
And, yeah... even though it's been a while since you've updated, I just wanted to comment to let you know people are still stumbling across your story and enjoying it, and holding out hope you will continue. :)
Be sure to fix the sequel link correctly! And you may still have some old readers hanging around to find it. Or maybe just post an extra note at the end of the first installment with the correct sequel link. :)
I will be here.