Cigarettes and Brandy - Comments

I like how you had just enough information for a short work of fiction, not too much to overload the reader but enough to give a picture and leave something to the imagination. Good job!

Oohhh, this is good, this is very good! :) I love it! I'm so creative with my words, aren't I? Well, YOU my friend, ARE!

I think that the thing that pulled me in and made me want to read this story the most was the short summary. It doesn't work for a lot of stories, sometimes it doesn't work for drabbles but yours just appealed to me. Maybe it was because you wrote she was trying to rub out pain and that's something I don't read in pieces of writing but it really caught my attention.

Your description of her actions were very good. I was kind of curious about her night at least to learn more about it, reading into this story. I didn't think that I knew enough about her (and other nights she had went out) to really feel all that bad for her in the end with the last line, but I think maybe it was just me. I know that I would feel devastated in her position though, and that's what made this more relatable and realistic. I'd only elaborate a little bit more, but it's not all that necessary. This was still a good piece.

I've actually never seen anyone take a topic like this and turn it into such an eloquent piece, so kudos to you! Like swell said, you've put so much description into something that most others would skim over or steer clear of entirely, and I really do commend you for that. I really feel for Arielle during this, the imagery and description that you've used allow us further into her pain and it really did grab me when I was reading. The last line was absolutely perfect, it shows that Arielle has so much more to her than I initially thought. Really intriguing, leaves some questions., but not too many. I always thought that was the sign of a good story.

The only thing I did notice was a typo in the second-last paragraph. I'm assuming bruished should be bruised? Not too sure, I thought I'd point it out.

All in all, absolutely incredible.

I quite liked this. I loved the amount of detail you had with Arielle's morning after with the puking and that, it's not something many people do put into words but you wrote in such an interesting way that it made it fine to read. This flowed really nicely and didn't have any awkward phrasing to it. When reading the end and realising that Arielle does that often and that she didn't want to, I felt sympathy for her. I feel like, when reading drabbles it's hard for the reader to connect with the piece because of its length, but I think that as far as conveying emotion went you did well. Good job!