There are a couple of things I think you could do to this story to help improve it.
First of all, I think instead of opening with the typical getting ready for school scene, you could do something exciting and start off with a bang. I've seen it done a lot of times, so it doesn't really hook me into the story anymore.
Second, I think instead of using the all caps lock for them shouting, you could just use the bold bbcode [ b] [/ b]or even just an exclamation point at the end of the sentence. I think that would get the shouting point across pretty well too.