February 3rd, 2014 at 08:07pm
*comment swap*
as every chapter is written by another person, i'm gonna comment on them separately:
chapter 1 - first negative reactions are always fun, but I think it was too much and didn't really look real. i think it could have been better if Ashley and Harry didn't actually make out in the closet, you could just write how they spent those seven minutes standing there, but Ashley was dying to kiss him. it would build more tension between them.
chapter 2 - it was nice of Niall to not take and advantage of Alana, i liked how they just simply danced and had a good time.
chapter 3 - the writting is a bit messy and few mistakes caught my attention. but not bad, i liked that swings thing.
chapter 4 - liked that Callie and Zyan already have a history. however, in the last parapgraph you wrote "Marissa", not "Callie" ;)
chapter 5 - this one is the best one so far. Annie's storyline is the most unique one among all!
since you guys have so much main characters in the story, it's good that it's co-written, however, you should work more on creating those characters, because so far Alana, Chloe and Callie are the same.
talking about the layout, i find it really bad, it looks like a huge mess ;/
good luck!
i really like that niall is still being so respectful and romantic to alana even when she's drunk. he coulda been grinding on her on the dancefloor but he asked, held out his hand. awww cute 
i can't help but wonder how lany would have reacted if she did remember who niall was 
I liked it.
*commentswap