Life is a Circus - Comments

@ Join the Masquerade
Thank you so much for your comment! I found your suggestions to be very helpful, and I already went through and fixed them :) I'm working on responding to your message right now!

Double post, sorry.

Summary

Michael has been jobless for months after getting fired from the place he has worked for years.
It seems really unnecessary to state the last half of this sentence. Maybe you could reword this so the cynic in my mind doesn't go "well, duh".

In his opinion the only thing worse would be if he were homeless too.
*homeless, too.

I liked the summary, overall. It was amusing, in the way that someone else's life in ruins makes one smile... :P

Chapter One

Your introduction to this character and his situation is amazing D:

But in June I lost my job at the local Gas Station...
I don't understand the reason behind starting with "but" because by doing that you're essentially saying "I don't have a job but I lost my job in June", which doesn't make sense.

So now here I am, making special friends with the couch at my parent’s house,
*parents' house

...by himself in the wee middle of the night,” his voice is haunting and crackly
*night." His voice

For a moment I wonder if he is here to kill me.
The character already said that the elderly character would not be a murderer because of the beard, and doesn't justify changing their mind over it.

This sparks my attention, though I’m not completely sure what he’s going on about, I turn in his direction.
*and though

So, I like the direction of this story. The old guy reminds me of Elder Gutknecht from Corpse Bride for some reason. Maybe the voice, and the beard. The narrator's understanding of how things will turn out and simultaneous lack of motivation irritates me, but that's such a young guy kinda thing to do. Like, ehh, I'll worry about it later. I hope he isn't skinned, haha.

Triple post, ugh.

@ sempiternal.

Thanks, I'm glad you like it so far! I was going for a riddle-y type thing so I'm glad you appreciated that. Don't worry, this will not be going in a scary direction.

I hoped the whole time I was reading this that it wouldn't be some kind of twisted, terrifying story like the last I commented on and would scar me for life from circuses. Thankfully though it wasn't, or isn't so far. Anyway, I did enjoy this! I like the narrator, he makes me smile. But seriously why the hell would you let someone that worked at a gas station talk you out of going to college? That was his first mistake. I like how the little old man talks, though, it reminds me of some type of riddle-y person from a fairy tale that won't let you pass until you guess their riddle. I think that this story could go in a ton of directions, I just hope it goes in a non scary one. Very good start!