Clarity - Comments

Your writing style is appropriately flowery for the type of story that you are writing. It is a rare commodity to see good descriptive sentences these days when everyone wants action, so good for you. :) However, I believe that the overall story could be much improved if you found a way to differentiate each character. Right now it seems like each character is only existing to fill their role in the story, and although the dialogue is good, and the character descriptions accurate, I find each character to be relatively similar but for their roles in the story: Cody the best friend, Stella the Protagonist, etc.,and because of this, they fail to jump off the page and bring the story to life. They play the average high school kids, however, we should remind ourselves that our characters are extensions of ourselves, no human is just and average anything. We are all unique and the characters should be that way as well. Find more ways to show the individuality and you'll have a great story on your hands.

more more more :) so cool!!! :) love it so much.
<3

this is so interesting !! i love it! :) hope you update soon :)!

You story isn't bad, but I find myself having a hard time staying interested. Your main characters are great and I can see the beginning of conflict with this mysterious Alex character. I just don't feel the urgency in the story. I got some sence in the first chapter, but that had to do with the scenery ( fantastic description by the way) and the mystery that shrouded this drug dealer kid named Alex. There's nothing that sets the high school experience of your main character from any other high school experience. I think I'm just seeking slightly more conflict other than "the uncool girl fights to stay cool". I'm also getting lost with all of these characters names. It feels like other than the main two protagonists the names are thrown out there with no real point of reference for the reader. I want to get to know your main character and her friends. Why are they her friends? Are they really her friends or just status symbols? That could be interesting too. I want to say on more time because I said a lot of criticisms that I like your story and I'd love to read more please continue

comment swap :)
i love this. The story really just jumped straight in to the plot, but i like it. The summary is intriguing and the plot is very mysterious. It is written brilliantly and i didn't notice any spelling or grammar ect errors.

but who is Alex???? i have to know what this guy is about. And what did he give her before he left??? this story is amazing, i can't wait to see how it develops.

Comment Swap:
Wow, this story started off really quick. But I like it. The plot is very mysterious and you had me wondering the entire time. Alex is an interesting character that you have written so well, and I was really intrigued by his character.

This story is really intriguing, and your writing style is easy and smooth. It was a really nice read, and very well-written.

who is this guy?! I'm really curious about Alex, who is he, why is he there, what does he want. My questions are unanswered and I need more updates! I've subscribed, so please update soon. I like your layout as well, it really sets the tone for the opening chapter.

comment swap

The layout is really cool, and calming. Your writing is very good also. The summary is also very intriguing.

I really liked this.:) You are a very talented writer. Your descriptions are wonderful and you keep the reader curious. I also like your layout. It is very relaxed. Keep up the good work!

Your summery is brilliant.

You are able to create mystery and intrigue your readers, which was the first thing that attracted me to this story. It is well written, especially the first chapter.

I’m not a fan of dialogue, but I like yours, because yet again it’s a little bit vague and you have to read between the lines sometimes to understand what’s going on.

Your main character seems to have two personalities, the one that is resurfacing from the past and the one that she has developed over the years and it makes her all the more complex and interesting.

I’m really thankful that you had not put all of the characters in your first chapter, because when you are just trying to get into the story, it’s really easy to get lost.

Overall I’m intrigued by this story, so I am going to subscribe and wait for the updates.

You had me with the short summary. I totally love bad boys so much. And Alexander Hunt seems like a total bad boy and I'm like, already digging on him so much. But the question is, IS THIS BAD BOY A REGULAR BAD BOY OR IS HE A SUPER BAD BOY THAT IS A DRUG LORD OR SOMETHING? Because I mean what the hell else kind of "business" would he have going there. Unless he's the pimp and leader of a prostitution ring. I like how Stella's character, though I cannot completely make my mind up about her right now. And what the actual hell did Alexander give Stella before he left? I mean how is it relevant? I HAVE LEARNED THAT NOTHING IN STORIES IS IRRELEVANT AND IT ALL HAS PURPOSE. This story seems incredibly promising. I can't wait to see how it develops.