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July 27th, 2013 at 03:35am
That was a really great start! I'm excited to see where this goes! There are a few spelling errors in the summary that you might want to fix, loves.
First chapter: poor Vic. I'm glad you gave some insight to WHY he did it instead of leaving it a mystery. Sometimes it's good, sometimes not. It works in this case. Giving us an insight into his thoughts makes him feel real, makes his pain feel real. Poor mike. I feel terrible for him that he had to find his brother that way. At Least he can get to him in time.
Second chapter: kellin. Kells. Again, great insight to why he feels the way he does. As someone who can relate to seeing things like he did with your parents, it really does spark an appeal to helping people. The description you guys put in here is pretty great. The Lego house was a cute touch, and this chapter built up Kellin's character tremendously. I'm excited for he and Vic to meet. I think Kellin can help Vic, and even Vic can help Kellin In the process.
Subbing.
