November 2nd, 2013 at 06:12am
I haven't been on my laptop to copy and paste, but I love the conflict so far. Audrey seems super well written, and your descriptions are FABULOUS. The bit about Chicago and Lake Michigan had me in tears.
This is super great, and I'm looking forward to your next update eagerly! :) ♡
"...of Lake Michigan, empty and void with the lights of the city balancing on the surface; you wouldn't even know there was a body of water there save for the minimal ripples that carry the lights in rolls, as numerous as the unseen stars in the sky are. The way this city can change in the midst of the night to a wispy muse by day to a temptress by night never fails to amaze her."
I love this part. It's equal parts allusion, imagery, and metaphorical. It's extremely well written, and it flows beautifully like a song. I love it, I love it, I love it!
"The windy city is giving no misjudgings as she steps into the eternally chilly night of Chicago, the cold clinging to her skin like an everpresent coat of secrecy. It reflects the way she feels inside most of the time; cold and calculated. It’s only a second before a night breeze catches her and now she’s hit with a chilly blast, her skin shaking in protest, and then she’s frozen—because of her own mistakes."
This transition is amazing. I love how you paralleled the condition of the city to the condition of her state. I just love the emotional implications that are in this part.
Overall, I just loved this chapter. Your transitions and parallels are just fantastic and awe-inspiring.
Cannot wait for the next part of this perfection! :)