I Always Hurt the Ones I Love - Comments

Nooo!
This made me get all teary-eyes
:/
It was really good though!
but sad as fuck :'(

<33

LoL, thank you very much!

what is wron with you. why are you so good!!!. each ofyour stories kill me there so powerful. i luuuv this one!

Thanks... =)

Yeah, I'm all about the bitter-sweet...

It would have been cliche, had Gerard not woken up. But he did.

I love the line about believing in the lie, even if he knew they'd never meet again. That was bittersweet.

Good job, overall.

well never again and never again
they gave us two shots to the back of the head
and we're all dead now...

thats what went through my mind when i read this......its so sad....

You hate slash?? Then I'm proud of you for reading it, really.

And I thought I should change it because that was my... 3rd?? Story ever and I'm very unexperienced. Plus I'm armenian. And I do see the story differently since I wrote it, and I want to know what other people think, and how to make it better.

(Funny you should mention Aesop cause I live in Norway, HaHa...)

Thanks again! I think I might change it, because honestly, I don't like the story that much. When I first wrote it, I thought that I had written the whole thing the wrong way, so... Yeah.

Elena.

Well, ok, let me put it this way. I mean, this is slash fiction, right? I absolutely hate fanfiction in all forms, and slash is far and away my least favorite. That said, I loved this story, so I'd say that you have to remember that just because one critic doesn't like something doesn't necessarily mean you should change it.

Personally I think you should remove it because it suddenly changes into this matter of fact, Aesop's fables kind of ending and I didn't think it fit.

Believe me when I say that typically I think slash fiction is everything wrong with writing, so have some more confidence in your writing abilities that I really enjoyed it.

Oh God! I'm sorry, I'm not a pro. Thanks for telling me! This is the first critique I've ever received, it's very helpful.

And yeah, I know LoL
I do focus on the whole pity thing too much. It was supposed to be like a memory after he died, and a bit sarcastic...

I'm really sorry that that sentence ruined everything, do you want me to change it??

You have a wonderful aptitude for powerful minimalism.

However, I think you get a little too wrapped up in this self-pitying Emo culture at the end. The last three lines are a little too superficial and self-indulgent. A big disappointment after an otherwise pretty gorgeously written story.

"And there you have it.

The deceptive adversity and the agonizing irony of life.

I always hurt the ones I love."

"And there you have it" alone threw me completely from the piece. I didn't think it was fitting at all considering the rest of the tone. We understand that the irony of the story is supposed to be agonizing, don't ram it down our throats. More importantly, I'd say (and this is purely opinion, obviously) don't get too wrapped up in how painful and hopeless everything is. You'll lose your reader's empathy and gain distaste for the self-indulgence.

God, the ending, wHYYYY!?

Haha, anyhow, if it's any consolation, the only reason I'm giving you this flak for the ending is I absolutely love your style. I'd like to see it rounding out stories with just a little more polish.

oh my god
thats so sad
i loved it

oh my god

i'm almost crying

reely beatifully written
great concept

Aww, I'm sorry..! I feel evil now...

Elena.

I WANT MY MUMMY! Because this girl wrote such an awsome one-shot that it made me cry and i had to pretend i smashed my leg against the desk so i didn't have to explain to my mum why i was crying.
"Sniffs"Its Beau- beau -beautiful

oh my gosh.
This is so beautiful.
I..I.....
Im speechless ;_;
It was amazing.
And so sad.

wow...

simply...wow

idk what to say..its just simply..wow

x]]

Awwww! That was so sad. Me and my friend's were crying :(

Awh!!! Thats so sad. :(

i have tears in my eyes now
and it takes a lot to get me emotional
it's so sad
so, so, so very, very sad

and heartbreaking
poor frankie
poor gerard
and he bought him the guitar!

i shall end with:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

:cry:

they'll meet again

I wanted to comment to let you know I thought it was awesome. I just didn't know what to say about the story, cause it made me sad.

LoL! If you don't know what to put... you don't have to put anything, aww...
I'm sorry I killed Fwankie... I didn't want to.
Who am I kidding, I did want to kill him...