July 12th, 2017 at 09:41pm
This was really hot! Aside from a few minor grammatical errors, it all flows together really well- and I can totally see Brian being a fucking diva about moving shit. Poor Matt when it comes to putting up with him!
And Matt- there's no way you could withhold sex for that long, not even if you tried. Your hand is nothing in comparison to Brian.
Thank you for entering my contest!
This was a cute story -- I'm not sure if cute was exactly what you were going for since this was smut, but the relationship between the guys was really cute. I liked that you could tell that they really loved each other through their actions and how they interacted with each other. I mean, buying a house for the 1 year anniversary of dating seemed a tad bit excessive to me, but if it works for them then all the power to them.
I would have liked a bit more description throughout the story, though. Especially at the beginning when we were getting the background information, it felt like you were sort of just chatting instead of telling a story. It made it a bit harder to really get invested in the story because I felt like you were just casually telling me what was happening. I also found Brian's character a bit unrealistic just because of how much he seemed like a stereotypical flamboyant gay man, which is really different from how he is in real life. I know that obviously this story was a work of fiction, but I still personally like when the characters stay a bit more true to the people they actually are, if that makes sense.
Thanks for entering!