June 2nd, 2017 at 05:07am
the tampon thing is gross, hahaha. it's not something i read very much of, so good job on that, i guess.
some of this is a little unrealistic, at least her reactions to it, like two fingers up the ass dry is going to sting no matter how prepared you are for it. the fact that he tied her up to a tree in the parking lot is also a little iffy.
i might also give him a name a little earlier on, or at least alternate "he" with "the man" or something, because you use the word he three times as sentence starters in one paragraph. :3
you're absolutely fantastic at trailing endings. i guess i should have seen it in the beginning when you mentioned a fiancee or husband, but i didn't realize that was him! good job good job!
thank you for entering!
It's good 
Not going to lie, period sex definitely freaks me out and reading about it grossed me out a bit. However, it isn't something that gets written about very often so I thought it was interesting that you chose to write about that topic.
I liked that you gave a back story for Giovanna, but I think if you're going to do that, you need to be a bit more detailed. It felt like you were sort of just randomly bringing up her past and then just skimming, so it didn't really add much to the story. That also goes for the rest of the story -- when you were talking about everyone getting high/doing drugs and what not, that just felt like a random bit of information that didn't really add a whole lot to the story. Because of the random tidbits of information we were getting, a lot of the story felt a bit disjointed and didn't flow very well.
Th ending was an interesting twist, it makes me wonder what happened between what as going on in this story and the proposal. Good job though, thanks for entering!