July 25th, 2013 at 10:58pm
This is very beautifully written! I love the beginning paragraphs, it has an almost dark alluring quality to it. You're a very good writer and it shows.
This concept is unique to anything I've read really so I really liked that aspect of it. The introduction of Wolf was great and I love how you added the back story of his mate. Very beautifully done!
Chapter 1 was really cute, I love that we got a feel for Wolf and the personification of the animals was really cleverly and subtly done. It was really sweet at the end how motivated Wolf was because of his mate.
Chapter 2 was really interesting. I wasn't really sure what this story was really going to be like but I'm glad with how it had turned out because it's really, really good. I wish I had more to say, but I don't. The other contestants better watch their backs, haha.
Things I noticed.
Sometime you call Wolf, "Wolf" and sometime you call him "The Wolf". Personally, I'd stick to just one to prevent confusion because using 'the' suggests the wolf is less important but "Wolf" is the main character.
Overall I really love it. The fairytale feel is still there and worked in so cleverly. I love the feel of it. My favourite line was probably, "As Wolf closed his eyes he let out a huff." Just because it really fits the fairytale.