Modern Sex - Comments

Really cool idea, you should definitely turn it into a full length story!!

I really don't know what to say besides that I loved reading this. It was well-written, funny, descriptive, and I'm hoping you continue writing this! :)

p.s. I sooooo wouldn't mind a sequel for when they get back to the Tower.

You entered this in my Not-So-Super Heroes Contest!

Ohhhh my word, I love this. My tongue is hanging out of my mouth.

First off, I'd like to say I LOVE the name Elsie. It's so cutesie. And pairing it with her devious nature and dark appearance, it's even more adorable. I also love her mannerisms, such as her evil smirks and the way she dances as she walks down the street. It's very cliche but in a good way that makes me fall in love with her. I love heroins that are fun loving and leave a man stupefied like that.

I also liked how you depicted Steve. He was shy and sweet as expected, but there also seemed to be a glimmer of corruption surfacing when he buys the stockings and the book, and I'd like to think Elsie did it to him. I really enjoyed that. And of course, even though it is kind of naughty, him buying Elsie the stockings is too sweet. :') of course it's kind of with bad intentions but still, I loved it!

Your casual writing style is flowy and nice. Easy to read but still just descriptive enough. Your vocabulary is also simplistic but advanced enough to show that you're a skilled writer. I liked that you didn't feel the need to dress the writing up with tons of adjectives and large words. The only hung I noticed were a few typos that you may have missed, but it didn't bother me because I could still comprehend what you meant.

Great entry. :) it's wonderful! Very very good work!

this is really funny! you should definitely continue this one :D

I Laughed everytime he blushed. lol :) write more.