Punishment Is Harsh - Comments

@ writingismypassion23
Four languages??? Congrats!!!
However, I wrote the story in italian first, obviously. And I have to confess that a good dictionary an google helped me a lot ... sshh!!!

Because you're writing in a foreign language makes it all the more astonishing! I'm quad lingual (Haha, I'm not sure if that's a word, but I know four languages) sign language, english, Ukrainian, and chinese and I cannot imagine writing an entire story in a different language!

@ writingismypassion23
Thank you so much, Olivia! I really appreciate your words. You have understood perfectly my intent, but isn't easy for me writing in a foreign language. So, if you liked it, it's doubly important!

Thanks again ... <3 <3 <3

I simply adore this!! Your characters are cunning and witty, and I absolutely love that. Too many times in stories the character makes ALL the characters dumb and sketchy, but you have portrayed that perfect balance in who your characters are and it makes for a very, very interesting story! It's cute how Jared wanted to know about her relationship status, great, great foreshadowing. I did not notice an mistakes, so congrats :) I love the phrase, "brilliant and genuine young woman", I don't know why, but this phrase just struck me as so sophisticated and it really draws in the reader. Never, ever, ever, ever stop writing!!

God Bless!!

xoxo

Olivia

@ Maddi;
Thanks a lot, Maddi. I'm happy that you like it. I've seen a video with Jared at that festival and it inspired me. He's a very funny man. And hot, obviously. I used the word "fucking" because, in my mind, Francesca is a polite girl but too sassy, sometimes. Just like Jared is!
Bye :)

@ St. Jimmy
Thank you very very much for your comment. I appreciate it a lot! Yes, Jared and Francesca are really playing a game. Like a chess game. It will go on in other episodes. Anyway, just Jared Leto is a real character, the others are just children of my imagination.
Thanks again

p.s. I love your nickname so much! It's one of my G.D.'s favourite songs!!!

*Comment swap* I liked this a lot! It's funny and clever and well written. I didn't notice mistakes but I wasn't hunting for them. It seems the two are playing a little game of words, that she wins when she leaves. I was slightly confused as to who the characters where and how they were involved with Artifact (other than Jared of course) but ti sort of made sense towards the end. :] x

I thought it was funny how Jared was asking her if George was her boyfriend. He seemed really curious to know and I wonder why! I could be wrong, but I think he might have romantic feelings for her. It just seems that way from how many questions he was asking her and how he was so curious about everything about her. It almost seemed like the two of them were flirting too, which I thought was cute. I did think it was a little weird how she just threw the word "fucking" into their conversation when it wasn't really that appropraite for their conversation! Other than that, great story!