I'm Not Saying I'm a Gold Digger - Comments

Very interesting. And I promise I’m not just flattering you. It’s something I’ve never read about before. And the main character is really bold and interesting. Your descriptions are entertaining, and the story is---thank you God so much---not boring at all. Good job.

First off, I think you really should use proper grammar in your story title. Instead of what you have, I think you should put "I'm Not Saying I'm A Gold Digger." Besides, I'm pretty sure slang isn't allowed in story titles anyway.

Moving on to the great story you have here :D! your descriptions are great and I love how I can picture Shari and her setting like a movie. Something I don't like is that throughout this entire story you tell instead of show what she's like. As an example out of the blue sky I'll use this:
Instead of saying "Laura is nice." You could say "Laura made her way down the street and made her daily donation to the homeless shelter on her way to work." This SHOWS that she's a good / nice person instead of TELLING the reader that she is.

Apart from these two things, I really liked your story and I love Shari's quirky character. And I know that third person is harder to write for most, but I definitely loved it and I'm glad you used it here :D!

And don't worry about the older guy thing; i have a huge thing for them too!

Anyways, I love this so far :D!

This is actually really good! I haven't read any stories about graffiti artists. I'm curious to see where you're headed with this, and who this Leon character is. Jhon seems pretty nice so far. I want to see what Leon has in store for Shari.

My name is Dee and I'm your subscriber and because you wanted a comment I'm commenting :) First I'd just like to say that I think your writing is amazing and I can just imagine the painting of the paper crane covered in cherry blossoms on the billboard. Is that an actual painting btw? Or did you just come up with the idea yourself?
I like how you don't give too much information away about your characters. The things you do write about them are like subtle hints that make me want to keep reading so I can get to know them better :)
I think Shari is a cool character. The fact that she didn't come from a privileged family and that she's so passionate about art and was good enough at it to be awarded a scholarship is awesome in itself (awesome, great, cool, and amazing are the only synonyms I'm smart enough to come up with so I may repeat them haha).
I like Leon. He's that mysterious older guy that you crush on in school >.< I can't wait to read more about him. Not so keen on Jhon though. I don't know why I just don't like him as much lol. It may be because he seems too good to be true.
Anyway, keep up the good work and thanks for updating regularly :D I appreciate it.

P.S Sorry if my comment has been posted like 5 times. For some reason it won't submit o.o