Chances Are - Comments

@ fannie
Don't be sorry, you made less mistakes than I would and it isn't even your first language!!! I'm not kindling I couldn't believe when I realised that.
Glad your happy cause this is seriously good :)

@ Weirdo-Freak-Child
Oh, thanks a lot for your appreciation. I know that my writing is a bit confusing and that I did some mistakes. I'm sorry for that. I tried to do my best in a foreign language. But you liked my story anyway, and I'm so happy. Thx again! :D

First of I really liked this story, your descriptions and details are really good. I will admit I found the beginning a little confusing but after reading it a second time I understood it much better (though that's probably just me and most likely has nothing to do with your actual writing). The only thing I would say is that they're a couple of grammatical errors, nothing huge but they are a few.

Thanks a lot! You're right. It isn't over! There is one more chapter, already posted. The last, for now, but who knows! Thanks for your suggestions and your observations. I appreciate and I will take care. Bye :D

Definatly don't think their romance is over! Really liked this story. My only suggestion is more detail. It was a bit hard to picture as I was reading it. (I will say you are tons better than me at detail, it's the thing I always lack in very much) Overall great stories. Few grammatical errors and such but nothing major. Looking forward to reading more of your writing. Keep at it :)

Thank you so much for your help. I know that my syntax is very bad, but I've studied English just for a few years at school. And, trust me, English courses in my country are not so good! Your suggestions will help me to do better.
My writing may appears a bit strange, I know. But I used some italian common saying, traslating it in english (like "hang myself". In my language, it's used for "kill myself" ... or even "fuck you", in some cases). I understand that maybe it's a mistake.
Anyway, thanks again for your review and for your appreciation! :D

There are quite a few mistakes in the story – but nothing major. The details are actually really good visually, some of the dialogue needs work but I would say that it’s a decent story. Ok let’s see:
"Holy Shit!" - She thought - "I have traveled in time and I was catapulted into a Beatles concert?" – ok dialogue wise, you need to reword it to something like “Holy Shit! Have I traveled back in time and been catapulted to a beetles concert or something?”
Suddenly she didn't felt the asphalt under his feet anymore, but caught up by a mysterious centrifugal force and began to fluctuate without a definite goal. She didn't imagine that crowd surfing could be so sickening. Instead of felt, it needs to be feel – the next part ‘She didn’t imagine that crowd surfing could be so sickening, that needs reworded to something like. ‘She never imagined that crowd surfing could be so sickening.’
Make sure when they talk that the language between them is current, like “I would hang myself if it were so.” If you were writing a seventeenth century novel, or something from 1920 it would fit perfect but since this appears to be a current story, try “I would hang myself, I couldn’t bare something like that to happen.”
The story has good potential and for English being your 2nd language you did a great job because of the detailing because that was enough for the readers to get a picture painted and follow the characters. So keep working at it and don’t get discouraged! :-)

@ Snow.White.Queen.
Hi! Thanks a lot for your comment. I need to know where and when I go wrong because writing in another language isn't easy for me. Anyway, I understood that the thing of time travel was a little bit confusing, but it was just a common saying. Not an actual time travel but a joke. I know, I'm too wordy sometimes. I'll try to be more concise, next time. I'm glad that you liked it the same.
Thanks again for your wishes. :)

(Here From Le Comment Swap)

Well firstly the title is good, but the lack of a layout is a little gloomy. You should look into getting one. Also you gave a very long chapter description, I don't think there was really all that much need for it to be there. I found myself a little confused while reading about time travel and stuff, but that settled down as I read further. You are very good at description, that's for sure. I wish you luck with this, it's very good.

I'm sorry! The thing of time travel was just a joke. A similarity between the crowd that attended a Beatles concert in the 60's and the Bieber's crowd now. No offense for anybody!
I can see that maybe it's not as clear as can be in italian. And you're right! Maybe I could write it in a different way.
Anyway, thanks a lot for help me to correct my mistakes. I appreciate it, sincerely! And I'm glad that you like my story! :)

I thought the beginning of this story was a little confusing for me because she started off right away with talking about how she had traveled back in time and I couldn't tell if she was kidding or not or if that was the plot of the story. I eventually caught up with the whole thing but I think the beginning could have been a little different to make the story make more sense.

Other than that, I think this is a great story so far and I can't wait to see what happens to her in the future!

@ DeathReverence
Thank you so much! You don't know how much I appreciate your comment. Did you really like it?
I know that my writing can be a little bit disordered, but I'm trying to write in english, it's not my native language. And I know that I'm not so good! This is just the second chapter of my Jared Leto series, maybe I can do better in future!
Thanks again ... a lot! :)

*COMMENT SWAPPING LIKE A BAWSS*

Okay, lets first of say; The way you describe everything is pretty much PERFECT. A few parts of this story got kind of confusing to me but I eventually worked them out. But again, I still cannot how well you describe things. It's just so detailed and awesome and amazing and yeah.. xD But in all seriousness: Great job!