If and When We Don't Take Medication - Comments

(Comment swap)
Not a big fan of FOB but this story was a very easy read. Never boring, that's for sure! It's well written, the characters are likable and the plot is entertaining. Definitely a promising story for any FOB fans out there that come across it! And, I just get the sense that you're really enjoying writing this, which is always really great. Makes it a little more special. Plus, since the OC is basically you, it's like getting you know you! Awesome job.

Okay, okay...To all who has read my story! I know that the dialogue is all squished together! I absolutely hate it! I've not had time to fix it, and I didn't even start it like that! I pasted it from my Microsoft Word and it all squished together! I will fix it! Oh, and thanks @ ofmiceandme

comment swap!
while I'm not a big fan of fall out boy, the story has a lot of promise! It's quite an original idea that I haven't seen before. However, usually when I see a story set up this way, I immediately hit back. The dialogue being squashed up that way is a bit hard to read. So maybe try breaking it up into separate paragraphs when you change people talking. And maybe try labeling POV, though that one is COMPLETELY optional.

Anyway, great start! Keep going!!

@ aleumdaunn Thank you for the compliment and the advice, I'll see what I can do. I know about the dialogue...I'll try to fix it again haha

comment swap

normally when i see these types of stories, i tend to stay away from it, but you seem to have a good base as to what the story will consist of.

when you start a chapter (with a disclaimer or any other note, per say) i think you should keep it for the summary or leave it in the author's note so people don't get confused or any such nonsense. also, try making a layout so it'll add some color and fun to your story. that always seems to help get more readers and comments.

as far as the content of the story goes, i really liked the dialogue and the description was well done. i think when you start the dialogue, you should change it into a different paragraph rather than having it all be meshed together. though i'm not a fan of any of these bands, i think your idea is slowly unraveling so good luck.

@AmberlieSorrow Thank you! I try to update every day and I'm a total grammar freak. I love to write and see what people have to say!
@VeronaViridian That's awesome that you got hooked! I like it when people aren't really into something that I'm writing about, but they end up loving the story! Thank you!

Lol, that was quite an interesting read so far. I like the direction it’s going. I really like Nicole and the randomness of the story. You don’t read that too often. The story was lose and fun to read, easy to picture and the conversations between FOB and Nicole were funny and enlightening for character interaction. I didn’t notice any mistakes and found the writing clear and funny. Not a lot of writers know how to take their writing and have fun with it and that is something you managed to do with ease. Honestly great job, keep up the awesome writing and update soon!

Lol, that was quite an interesting read so far. I like the direction it’s going. I really like Nicole and the randomness of the story. You don’t read that too often. The story was lose and fun to read, easy to picture and the conversations between FOB and Nicole were funny and enlightening for character interaction. I didn’t notice any mistakes and found the writing clear and funny. Not a lot of writers know how to take their writing and have fun with it and that is something you managed to do with ease. Honestly great job, keep up the awesome writing and update soon!

I just want to start out by saying that I'm not a great fan of Fall Out Boy, but am familiar with their music. Due to boredom, on a summer day, I casually stumbled upon this story of yours. Now that I read it, I really am hooked! I love the concept, and the randomness! I mean, one minute she is in her room being a normal person, and the next, she is being hunted down by wild coyotes! Hehe . . Hope you update soon!

Keep up the writing . .

~ Verona :)