August 16th, 2013 at 09:17pm
If I'm being honest, I didn't really enjoy reading this. There were a couple things I didn't really enjoy about it.
The first thing that I didn't enjoy was the point of view shift from Zacky's point of view to the author's point of view in the middle of the chapter. It seemed unnecessary and didn't really serve a purpose.
The other things I didn't like was the short choppy sentences that served as the opening. They didn't really pull me into the story or make me want to read it.
Good luck with your writing and future writing endeavors!
As I've stated before, it is an older story so yes. I really do not like the way I wrote it but some others on deviantART were like 'Omg so sad. I love it.' and others like you were not so impressed. But hey, you can't please everyone.
I respect your honest opinion a lot, actually. Thank you very much for the feedback.