Here's to Us - Comments

I'm here as a judge for the First A7X Contest.

I liked that we sort of just got thrown into the lives of the characters without really knowing a lot about them. Normally I'm all about the back story of characters, but I think the bits of information you added throughout the beginning allowed me to know enough that I felt like I had an idea about the characters without throwing too much unnecessary information in. You had a really nice progression from the cute, fun beginning into the smut and then a funny bit at the end and I thought it all flowed really well.

The narration threw me off a little bit, only because it felt like instead of focusing on telling the story, there were moments where it felt like you were really trying to explain things and it ended up feeling awkward. If you just focus on descriptions and character development, all of the information you're wanting to get across will be there and you won't have to feel like you need to explain everything -- which will make the flow of the story a lot smoother.

Thanks for entering!

Love it! Nice job!

I'm here judging the entries for the Yet Another Smut Filled A7X Contest.

Content

I love the simplicity of this. No crazy backstory or AU, just something cute that gets quite steamy! You've described everything quite well, I can definitely imagine everything, especially at the beginning when everyone is fairly drunk. Again, it's so simple and realistic that I think it really works well. You've got that super-sweet and slightly amusing ending as well, which really does add to it all. You've also fleshed out the characters quite well in such a short space, although that could be to do with drunk actions. I always think that how someone acts when drunk says a lot about them so I assume that Johnny is fairly goofy in real life. All-in-all, you've done a good job here!

Concrit

There's a '¬' symbol at the beginning that I don't think should be there. Aside from that, I didn't notice much!

Loved it!!!

I've finally got around to reading this, it completely slipped my mind, but my god that was hot! I love your description as well it's adds a whole new level of hot! good job!

@ matches in water;
Thanks so much for the comment!!

This was very descriptive, and I love their 'bedroom-talk' *aka their sexual personas* very enticing to read, thanks for linking the contest by the way!

@ AJ9
Thank you so much!! I'm glad you liked it! Haha yeah I figured he would be the one to complain

I loved this! It was really sexy.

Trust Brian to ruin the sexiness though: “Shut the fuck up!” Brian yells through the door, banging on it with his fist twice. << good job they were already done

@ Tholomew's Mistress

@ RachTheBat
Aw, thank you so much! That means a lot to me I'm so glad. And shush it does not suck one bit, it's perfect!!

Yay, you posted it! You're more than welcome for the banner/layout, even if it sucks a little haha. You're equally as wonderful my love :D

This was so cute and sexy and hot and UNF all at the same time I laughed so much at the "king of the jungle" part and Johnny doing stand up in his boxers, even though I already read that part I still laughed again! XD

Great job honey!

@ Mrs. Shadows
Thanks so much babe!! Yeah, I'm glad you convinced me to post the little fantasy I had up here

This was really good babe. I'm glad that you took my advice and posted a story on here. The sex scene was super hot, loved the dirty talk and the cuteness at the end. Love you babe