Chasing - Comments

  • pocahontas.

    pocahontas. (565)

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    June 16th, 2015 at 08:23am
  • pocahontas.

    pocahontas. (565)

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    Wow same. This was really good. It was the perfect glimpse into characters, feelings, surroundings. I would love to see this as a full story!
    June 16th, 2015 at 08:22am
  • nearly witches.

    nearly witches. (15250)

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    Sorry for the delay, I'm finally here to judge the Boy Band Mania contest! Cute

    Your layout is lovely. I like the fact that the back colour contrasts the white you've got the content on and I like how it ties the colours of the image in as well. Nice and simple and everything ties in really well. I like it.

    I love the bitter tone that the narrator has when talking about Hyejin. It's almost like this typical teenage crush where the other girl is completely at fault. The way that you've described her as well makes her sound like that one irritable girl that you do just want to punch in the face and run away because she's just so perfect in everything and anything that she does but she is just so sweet that you physically can't have a go at her or wish that she would just disappear off of the face of the earth. Again, it adds to the typical high-school crush that we've all felt - or most of us have anyway. It's something that most can instantly relate to, so I think that adds a lot of depth to the story as people can compare their own experiences to those included here. It firmly plants the reader's sympathy with the narrator, which is a really strong place to have the sympathy lying. It just adds so much more to the last sentence - it's one of these things where you really do want to see how Kai replied to the message and see if anything did come out of it. You want the narrator to have that moment where they realise that they haven't been chasing that one person who won't love them back. Sadly, not everything works out in the perfect way, so I like that you've left that aspect to the reader to decide, but have also put enough into the story that you don't think that it'll happen.

    and that thought made the butterflies in my stomach fluttering again - in this, fluttering should be flutter.

    This was a really sad piece. I really felt for the narrator and I had a little bit of hatred for Kai, even though he was just doing what all boys do. It was a really lovely piece, in a warped way.
    October 19th, 2013 at 10:29pm
  • incandescent;

    incandescent; (100)

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    ahh an exo fic. It's so difficult finding exo fics here :(

    That was bittersweet. I've always been a sucker to these kinds of stories. I love the way you wrote it, how the words seem to flow evenly. Good job! :)
    October 14th, 2013 at 06:48am