Actually, no, your JesusXJudas story is smoking hot. I'mma teach you a lesson. I'mma baptize you and your J-Christ in the awesomeness that is Green Day, since you obviously don't know just how cool Billie Joe is.
I'm going to write a story where Green Day and I meet your Pimp JC and his Twevle prostitutes.
See, that just proves that you need Christ. All you have to do is ask him into your heart, and then he can help guid you through life. It's that easy.
I've been in your spot before, and I listened to terrible bands like Green Day too. I can sympathize. there is something glorious waiting for you out there.