Wolf - Comments

you actually pwn at one shots. seriously.

<3

I said I'd comment and I did! Muy bien :)

firstly the person above over reviewed this a tad

neways this was cool there was really only a sort of 2 line storyline to this

she falls out with him. he thinks bout hitting her. he kisses her thanks her and goes to be alone with his thoughts in a motel.

but u managed to expand this into frankly a pretty good story.

finally what was the four about in about the last line

This was such a joy to read. It was subversive in nature but achingly emotional despite the narrator giving little in detail on how he felt which is a brilliant piece of writing. It also makes a thrilling first chapter of what could be an intimate journey of self-discovery whilst looking at paralell versions withthe other residents of the hotel.

four strides: the cheap room was four full, gangly strides long – value for money, if there ever was. This has such a rich, conversational tone that just pangs with irony.

halogen light hanging from the low ceiling, painted a familiar shade of unholy magnolia. This is such a haunting image. The halogen light gives what would be expected to be a dingy place a too bright atmosphere, making it feel very unnaturally and static. Good job.

The repair shop of the world?

Oh, no.

The trashcan.

That is so...melancholy. It's perhaps one of the most saddest lines in the whole piece. It also strikes me as some form of resentment on the narrator's part.

Tonight he was Abe Sapien, unhuman as ever in jeans and a clean white shirt

The name could be a pun...most certainly the last name. He seems to describe himself as a pinnacle of what male humans are supposed to be like and yet he feels very deattached from the world. This could mean he is delusional or just depersonalised.

castrated by the life of morning coffee and evening television, offices and curtains and bank statements and car washes and dinner with the in-laws and sex every Tuesday. This is a brilliant segment of what really sums up human behavoir, full of silly little things made supremely important. Fabulous.

he forgets what it was like to live in the woods on the edge of his senses, I find this piece ironic as he is not actually in a physical wood but perhaps a metaphysical or emotional wood compared to his suburban life.

his beautiful young wife in his beautiful clean house I feel this underlines the fact that he might have what could have been considered a perfect life but he hated every moment.

but he had witnessed so much art made from things that were further towards the black, so much beauty in the widely accepted wrong, that he supposed it had all turned to shades of grey for him now. This is quite a surreal image to paint. He is so wrapped up in what he calls a dark art that he has lost touch with reality.

that maybe he was like all the other men on this lovely street in this Very Nice neighbourhood, and that she had stepped out of line and would be promptly put in her place. This is a poignant imagery as it shows that everything we consider good is merely superficial and god only knows what happens behind closed doors.

It was drawing close to morning, and he sat down on the bed, regarding the window and the blackness beyond it, and the way it acted as a mirror, one amenity that was absent in this sparse room – stared at himself through his wise old eyes in his young, moonlike face. Elephant eyes. Wolf spirit. Wolf. Man. Elephant. Four. Abe. Wolf…

He fell asleep and dreamt of forests and moose, and living on the edge of his senses.

Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous. It is the essence of insanity and this man who is a wolf

This was absolutely beautiful and I am glad I read it.

I absolutely adore this story, particularly the bit about their arguement.
Hehe, unholy magnolia strikes again! Truly 'tis the hallmark of your stories. =]

Poetry!

I was gripped from the first sentence. It flowed with wonder. The line about him stepping up and her taking a step back (you know what I mean) fitted perfectly!

Wonderful!