Faded - Comments

Cute! I really liked this short story, and your use of the lack of specific details (like their names, his description) was really nicely done. You showed the scene, a rather short event, really well, and didn't make it any longer than it needed to be.

I'm not very good with grammar, but I didn't notice any large errors.

A very nice short story (you're not terrible at all, opposite in fact!) with a really cute scene, left me really wondering about their past and their personalities, really nice ending.

Great job!

Dear author,
I came here via your comment swap blog entry.

First of all, I will gladly take this story's comment virginity. I like the layout, it's simple and nice.

I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it.
That was a nice sentence to put in the summary and it's very realistic. I think we all know how it feels wanting to find our old selves. At least I do.

On to the chapter,
I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find her.
Only the last word is changed from the quote on the summary and it makes me wonder why you changed it. It makes me feel like he's looking for her, only to find his old self.

The imagery was great and the way you ended this was just amazing. I am honestly left speechless and I don't know what else to say. I give you ten out of ten writing pens for this great piece of literature.

~Marian.