Breathe - Comments

Ohmygod. This...wow. This made me tear me up, so bad. It hit home in some way- this was amazing. Wow.

Jesus Christ I just would like to let you know the I am so sad I am just so soo soo soo so heart broken by this. Why do you have to do this to me with your stories?

This was amazing. From the very first line all I'm feeling is panic. It so much suspense and the way you wrote was great because it's like you can tell how nervous the main character is. I remember reading the first sentence and thinking "Aww fck this is going to break my heart isn't it?". And guess what it did! The style you wrote it in really pulled me in quick! I was so attached to the main character and I didn't even know his name. I was like whispering silent prayers to myself like "Please be okay, Jax. Please don't be dead" I promise. I was saying that. I am crying right now. This is probably one of my biggest fears ever. I have no idea what I would do if this happened to me irl. I had to to lay in my bed and stare at the ceiling for like 5 minutes after this. It really messed me up. In a good way. I thought your entry for my contest was sad but this takes the cake.

I wasn't too sure about the little snippets of Jax's past only because they weren't in the main character's POV but then I got use to and I'm glad you put them in there because it really helped the story understand Jax a little more and why they're situation was so sad. Around the end it make me think that the entire thing is in Jax's POV and he's watching his fiance try to call him but he can't answer. I could be wrong though.

This was really good. Like super good. I love stories the make me feel things. You have a way with words, honestly. The I love you, bye's killed me.

I would highlight to you my favorite parts but everything was my favorite part. I didn't see any grammatical errors either. Great Great Job. Seriously.

I love this, I love you, and you're both perfect. Gosh this had me tearing up so much, it was beautiful and heartbreaking but amazingly so. :')

Let me start with an oh no because my heart.
I really like the style you've got goin' on hither, how it's all action and leaves the impression of the emotions without having them just outright stated. The snippets of the relationship between Jax and his boyfriend (really love that you didn't name him ahhh) made me smile and then also added to the dread because Nikko why oh man. The first line that really hit me: "Jax. Jax. I love you. Bye." because the growing desperation oh god. AND THEN Realize now that it has been five years to the day today that Jax was going to leave this world by his own hand. Realize now that Jax has left this world by someone else's hand. Breathe.
I have melted into a puddle of hopelessness.
The text messages. Tears. Pain. Oh god.
This hurt me. I don't know if you could tell by the slow deterioration of my sentences. I think just this is perfect by itself, but of course I would read more (and be in agony because i would know how it ends goddammit). Oh man. I'm so sad.
<3