Cotton Candy Kisses - Comments

Delete v.v

No lie, I'm here because I saw your blog and I wanted to see the layout. Crafty idea linking the first chapter instead of just the summary page. Anyway, I think the layout is cute and that you did a good job. On the summary page I had did have difficulty finding the 1/1 link to the chapter but that may just be because my computer is angled funny right now. The story itself is cute as well and I didn't spy anything off about it. Apologies for this being short and primarily layout based. Both are simple and cute. :)

@ XXXataktoulaXXX
I hadn't realized I switched tenses. Thanks for that. I am going to edit it soon. I also just realized I switch point of views too, between first and third. I was going to fix that last night...

Thanks for the help. :)

The two scenes which unfolded before my eyes: a) the couple slightly arguing about if it was going to rain b) on the ferris wheel were nice.

You switched tenses once, going from past to present. Other than a slight editing, this is nice.

I liked that at the last paragraph, it started pouring like the narrator had just said it would and what he thought of the kiss.

The only thing I would suggest is to change the last sentence or take it off and replace it with a sentence which would leave a great impact on the reader's mind.

~Marian.