Excerpt - Comments

Why Do I Love You? Contest

First chapter was so cute. I loved how they first met and how they ended up falling in love with each other. I was kind of confused though as to how he thought she was younger when he said she acted more mature than her age. It was only during that part that I got confused. After that, the story flowed pretty well.

So far, I haven’t seen any grammatical errors or spellings. There were only a few punctuation marks that were missing in a few areas. You should re-check your dialogues and see if there are any periods or commas missing because that’s where I saw a few errors.

Mia has been an absolute tough girl. I’m not sure whether to call her his wife because in the first chapter, I recall a wedding (?) –that was the part where I found adorable.

The fighting scene lacked something. That umph I was looking for wasn’t really evident there. I think I’ve been reading too many fights that this somewhat blends with them. I have to say that the ending really brought the story up a notch. It was so sad for me to read it when she lost faith in him.

Well, that’s just life. Things just don’t end happily.

I really love this story. It sounds odd from just reading 2 chapters but I feel I can relate to Mia to some extent. I was in a similar situation to what she seems to be in. I can't wait to see how this develops!

Hey stranger!

I loved this actually. It seemed so raw and like emotional. This is a reality for a lot of couples and speaking from experience it suuuccckkkkssss. But it makes ya feel for them so good writing lady! Hope to read more soon! :D