Sleepyhead - Comments

This was so sad to read - great job at conveying that emotion and the character's pain. Very good imagery as well, so overall an enjoyable drabble

I like the vagueness of this to be honest. I was confused as to why she wanted to kill herself for a minute but then I understood. Other than that I think you did a nice job at creating this kind of monotonous numb feeling through the narrative. Like she's trying so hard to dope herself up to the point where she feels nothing but her anguish is just barely peaking through. Very nice job.

"she sucked in breath through her nose" you need 'a' between in and breath.

I like this because you have it so vague. I think you should be very happy with it. I'm slightly jealous of this because you sort of captured something I've been trying to do for a while. There's this song by a woman named Bobbie Gentry called Ode to Billy Joe. I've been trying to write around it for so long, and this reminds me of it. Good Job ::grins: !

this is incredible in the way you wrote it because it CAN be interpreted in so many ways. it was short but held SO much emotion!! beautiful!